


I Wanna Do Bad Things To You

by sgtbuckaroobarnes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abusive Cops, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood, Bloodplay, Choking, Cutting, Death, Face-Fucking, Homophobic Language, I hope not, Killing, Knives, Love Confessions, M/M, Murder, Porn With Plot, Rough Sex, Stabbing, also, bucky is a seasoned killer, bucky is also a little stalkerish, but he learns quick, but not main character death, but they will beeeee, i dont know what else to tag, i dont think that's gonna happen, i think thats gonna be a big thing, okay warnings here what to we have, please let me know if i need to use any other tags and i will, sam is new, sam will be later so its cool, they are terrible no joke, they arent together together yet, they're killers guys i dont know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:19:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtbuckaroobarnes/pseuds/sgtbuckaroobarnes
Summary: Bucky sees Sam kill someone, and being a killer himself he just wants to help Sam reach his full potential. Their relationship gets a little...messy.





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky sees the glint of the knife from across the street. He sees the guy take it out of his pocket and get close to man walking in front of him. Bucky narrows his eyes and clenches his fists in his pockets, his heart beating faster in his chest, that familiar tingle of excitement running down his back as he watches them, waiting for the man to make his move and plunge the knife in. 

He didn’t. 

Bucky sighed to himself as he watched the man shove the knife back in his pocket and then dart down a side street, the tingle running down his spine ebbing away to a dull pulse of disappointment. He looked at his watch and then squinted up the street. He had time. Plenty of time. He hadn’t really been planning on a play date tonight, but he was in the mood now. And bad things happened when he ignored his moods. 

He picked some random and followed them for awhile, keeping his distance until the street cleared. Then he grabbed them and pulled them down an ally, his arm snaking around their neck and pulling. The cracking sound was quiet, muffled by Bucky’s jacket. Bucky moved his arm and let the body fall, the life gone out of them before they hit the ground. He took a deep breath in through his nose, running his hands though his hair as he straightened up. He rolled the body behind the dumpster, turned on his heel, and went home. That tingle crawling back up his spine as his head buzzed. 

He went back to the place he’d seen the guy with knife three days in a row. And three days in row he watched him do the same thing. He’d pull the knife out, sneak up on him, get oh so close and then chicken out and run away. Bucky had never felt so goddamn frustrated in his life. He was standing in the shadow of the building, hands in his pockets, staring across the street. If the guy didn’t get his shit together and go through with it tonight Bucky was gonna walk across the fucking street and do it himself. He was tired of waiting. But he also couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed to let this guy do it himself. 

He straightened up a little when he saw the guy in the suit turn onto the street. He counted to ten and smiled to himself when the other guy walked around the corner, right on time. The guy looked around the street, like always, his eyes passed right over Bucky, like always. He pulled the knife out, the light from the street lamps shining on the blade as he walked up behind the guy. Bucky held his breath as he watched. He wasn’t gonna do it. They were nearly at the end of the street and he still hadn’t done it. 

Then they passed the opening of the last ally on that side and the guy finally moved. He slammed his hand down on the suit’s shoulder and shoved the knife forward. Bucky saw the man’s knees buckle, that happened when you hit someone’s spinal cord sometimes, and watched the other guy shove him easily into the ally, face down. All Bucky could really see were the dead guys feet, and the other guy straddling him, his hand moving violently up and down as he stabbed the knife in and out of him. He could hear the guy grunting as he stabbed him. Bucky bit into his lip so hard that blood dripped down his chin. 

He watched for awhile longer, he could see the blood on the knife now, even in the low light. He moved his fingers up to his chin and wiped at the blood. He hummed to himself as he sucked his fingers into his mouth and walked away, staying in the shadows and out of sight. 

~***~

It was easy to track him down. Easier than he’d thought it would be. His name was Sam. He worked at an airport, he was an aircraft mechanic, that’s what it said on all his resumes anyway. Bucky looked through everything, all the files he could find on the guy, then grabbed his address and went to find him. 

He watched him leave in the morning and then walked up and picked the locks on his door. He looked around for awhile, didn’t really look though his things, just looked around. Then he pushed the armchair into the corner of the room, sat down, and waited. He got up a few times during the day, made some food and then sat back down. The sun went down and he sat in the dark, staring at the door. His lips curved a little when he heard the key in the lock. 

He heard him whisper “what the fuck” as he turned the knob and found it wasn’t locked. Then he saw him shrug like he thought he must have just forgot to lock it. Bucky shook his head in the dark. Sam shrugged his jacket off and hung it on the hook behind the door, then reached over and hit the light switch, the small lamp near the door came on. The circle of light it cast on the room ending just a few inches from Bucky’s feet. He watched as Sam kept his back to him and headed to the kitchen. Bucky waited for Sam’s foot to hit the linoleum and then he spoke. 

“I saw what you did Sam.” He said calmly, his voice not accusing, just stating a fact. He smiled as Sam spun around, his hand going into his pocket, his eyes wide as he stared into the dark corner of his living room. Bucky stood up and stepped slowly into the light. 

“I mean, it took you fucking ages to do it, but you got there in the end. And I saw it.” He said, tilting his head to the side and smirking when Sam took a step back. 

“What the- who- how the fuck do you know my name?” Sam stammered, finally settling on the question he wanted. Bucky straightened his head up and moved his own hands into his pockets, he pushed himself onto his toes and smiled.

“I just did a little research.” He said with a shrug.

“Research?” Sam asked, taking a step forward. He was feeling brave tonight, that was good. Bucky shrugged again. 

“Yeah. Research. I looked you up. And wow, do you have a nice record. No criminal records, totally clean. Good army record too. That made sense to me somehow. And now, now you’re home. And you fix planes at an airport. That’s…” Bucky trailed off and turned on his heel, taking his eyes off Sam on purpose. He wanted to see what he’d do. 

“Also fitting somehow.” He finished slowly. He barely heard Sam rush toward him. He was quiet, Bucky’d give him that. He spun around and grunted as Sam pushed him against wall. He smiled when he felt the knife against his neck. 

“You gonna kill me Sam?” he asked, tilting his head again. Sam looked at him, he was breathing heavily, Bucky could feel the knife shaking against his neck.

“You want too. I can see it. That look in your eyes. And trust me, I know that look. I see every morning when I look in the mirror.” He paused, waiting to see if Sam would say anything, he just narrowed his eyes at Bucky and pressed the knife harder against his skin.

“It wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be, was it?” Bucky asked, the smile on his lips falling away. 

“What?” Sam asked, he knew what Bucky was asking, Bucky knew he did.

“Killing someone. Taking a life. It was harder than you thought.” Bucky said calmly. He saw Sam swallow hard, his throat moving. 

“I was in the army. I’ve killed people before.” He said, licking his lips and looking nervous. Bucky wondered if he knew he looked nervous. Bucky scoffed. 

“No. This is different and you know it. This isn’t something you can pin on the army. There were no orders. No commander telling you what to do. No one to pin it on when you get lonely at night, when it’s just you. You and your thoughts. This is all on you.” He said, tilting his head again. He pressed forward a little too, pushing into the blade at his throat, making it sting a little. Sam gulped as he stared at Bucky. 

“What the fuck do you want from me man?” Sam asked, his eyes darting down to the knife at Bucky’s throat and then back up to his face.

“I wanna ask you a question.” Bucky said simply. Sam licked his lips again, Bucky’s eyes tracked the movement. 

“What question?” he asked, his voice was tight. Bucky smirked at him.

“How did it feel?” He asked, relaxing back against the wall. Sam furrowed his brows.

“What?” he asked, Bucky almost laughed. 

“How did it feel? When you sunk that cute little knife of yours into that guys back. How. Did that feel?” Bucky asked, pressing forward a little again, making Sam press harder on his knife. 

“What the fuck does that matter?” Sam asked, he sounded angry, and a little confused still. Bucky did laugh then.

“It matters, because I need to know if you killed him for some kind of revenge thing, or if you killed him because you wanted to.” Bucky said, narrowing his eyes at Sam. Sam swallowed hard again. Bucky nodded.

“Because you wanted too then, good. Now…” Bucky trailed off and then moved quickly, he pushed Sam back a little and then let himself be pushed back against the wall. But this time he moved his hand between Sam’s knife and his neck, catching the blade in his hand. Sam’s eyes were wide as he looked at his knife. 

“How,” Bucky pressed his hand into the blade and moved it sideways, cutting himself.

“Did it feel?” he asked, opening his palm as blood dripped down his wrist, his eyes locked on Sam. Sam was breathing heavily again, his chest rising and falling quickly. Bucky smirked at him. 

“That good huh?” Bucky asked. Sam nodded slowly, like he was in a trance, his eyes on Bucky’s blood.

“Yeah. I thought so.” Bucky said with a small nod. 

“Killing is hard Sam. You figured that out. It’s harder than you think. Harder than what you did two days ago. Much harder.” Bucky said, moving his hand against the knife again and hissing at the pain. Sam’s eyes jumped from Bucky’s hand to Bucky’s mouth. 

“But it gets easier. The more you do it. The more people you kill. It does get easier.” Bucky said, wiggling his fingers a little, and looking at Sam intently. 

“Yeah. So what do you want?” Sam asked again, his voice sounding annoyed, Bucky could work with that. He slid his hand off the knife slowly, biting his lip as it cut deeper into his skin. 

“Let me teach you how.” He said, squeezing his hand tight by his side, dripping blood onto the carpet. Sam’s eyes widened and he lowered the knife a fraction. 

“Teach me?” Sam asked. 

“Yes. Teach you. How to kill.” Bucky said, looking at him and blinking slowly.

“I know how to kill. You saw that. You said so yourself.” Sam said, pressing the knife into Bucky’s neck again, pressing him against the wall harder. 

“So why the fuck would I need you to teach me?” Sam asked, almost hissing at Bucky. Bucky licked his lips and tried not smile. The pain in his hand and the knife against his throat sending those tingles up his spine again. 

“Because what I saw was a novice. Someone who didn’t know what the fuck they were doing.” Sam pressed the knife in harder. 

“But someone with talent nonetheless.” Bucky said. 

“Talent? …for killing.” Sam said, sounding skeptical. Bucky nodded. 

“Yes. It’s a talent. Maybe not a popular one. Maybe not a legal one. But a talent all the same.” Bucky said, his head moving slowly from side to side as he looked at Sam. The knife pulled back from his throat a little. 

“And you wanna teach me?” Sam asked, that skepticism still in his voice. Bucky nodded slowly and pressed forward again, the knife digging into his skin again on his own volition, he stopped with his face close to Sam’s, their noses almost touching. 

“I want to help you become the killer I know you can be. The killer that stabbed his knife into a guy in an ally twenty six times. And yes, I counted.” Bucky said with a smirk. Sam gulped and then lowered the knife. Bucky smiled and fell back against the wall, just leaning there, looking at Sam. 

“Is that a yes?” he asked, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. 

“Yeah. Okay.” Sam said hesitantly, stepping back a little. Bucky nodded at him. 

“When do we start?” Sam asked. Bucky smiled and stalked forward. He raised his hand to Sam’s cheek and patted it a few times, leaving blood on Sam’s face when he moved away. Sam’s eyes stayed on Bucky’s hand. 

“Tomorrow night.” He said, and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small piece of paper and handed it to Sam.

“Meet me there. And we’ll see what you’re made of.” He said with a smile, walking to the door and pulling it open. 

“You wanna see what I’m made of huh?” Sam asked, a challenge in his voice. Bucky turned to look at him. 

“Oh Sam,” Bucky said and moved his eyes down Sam’s body slowly, then back up.

“You don’t know the half of it.” He winked at him and then stepped out the door.

~***~

Sam stood there, staring at his door in silence. He raised his fingers to his cheek and moved them through the blood there. He looked at the blood on his fingers for a minute, just stared at his fingers like they held the answer to everything. Then he put them to his lips and sucked them into his mouth, his eyes falling shut as the taste of copper and salt sent chills across his skin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bucky meet up again and Bucky teaches Sam that certain things are harder than others. Pun...sort of intended.

Bucky was late. He was late on purpose. He needed to see how Sam reacted to that. He stepped around the corner of the building and hugged close to the bricks, staying in shadow. He could see Sam standing in the ally, he had his hood pulled up, his hands were shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans. Bucky walked slowly up behind him, pressing in close when Sam didn’t turn around. He was inches away. He could smell Sam. He smelled good. Bucky fought the urge to press against him. He leaned forward, not breathing, and put his mouth next to Sam’s ear. 

“Boo.” He whispered. Sam jumped and turned around quickly, his hands moving out of his pockets and up in front him. Bucky smirked at him when he lowered his hands with a sigh. 

“Really?” Sam asked shaking his head. 

“Aw what’s wrong? You don’t like surprises?” Bucky asked, smiling at Sam in the dark. Sam rolled his eyes. 

“You’re not exactly a pleasant surprise.” Sam grumbled, clenching and un-clenching his fists as he looked at Bucky, he looked suspicious. Bucky stepped forward, into Sam’s space, his face inches from Sam’s.

“Is that what you want Sam?” he asked, his voice quiet, his hands slowly moving up from his sides.

“Something…pleasant?” he asked, trailing his fingers lightly over the waist line of Sam’s pants, his fingers ghosting against Sam’s skin and making him shiver. Sam swallowed hard but stayed silent. 

“Cuz I can be pleasant.” Bucky said, smiling innocently at Sam, batting his lashes at him. Sam narrowed his eyes and looked down at were Bucky’s fingers were still touching his pants. Bucky laughed when Sam moved his eyes back up. 

“I’m just fuckin with ya man.” He said, and stepped back. He turned on his heel and walked out of the ally. 

“Come on.” He said over his shoulder and smiled when Sam followed him.

They stood on a corner for a long time, watching people walk past. Sam was standing to Bucky’s left and Bucky was watching Sam as much as he was watching everyone else. He smiled every time Sam’s eyes landed on the same person as his. Bucky pulled his arms around himself in the cold and turned to look at Sam. Sam glanced his way and then looked forward again. 

“Are we just gonna stand here all night?” Sam asked, shifting from foot to foot. 

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Bucky asked, tilting his head. Sam turned his head and glared at him. 

“What if I did?” he asked, his voice challenging. Bucky raised his eyebrows and stepped closer to Sam, pressing his arm against his.

“That would be rude.” Bucky said, elbowing him gently. Sam sighed heavily. 

“Rude huh? It’d be rude to make other plans. Man you broke into to my apartment and then told me to meet you at some random address. And then you were late.” Sam looked at him. 

“And I don’t even know your name.” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. Bucky smiled at him. 

“Fair enough.” Bucky said with a small nod. Sam stared at him for a minute and then huffed when Bucky didn’t say anything else. Bucky stared across the street as some guy in a hoodie wolf whistled at a group of women that walked past him. Bucky clenched his fist and bit his lip. 

“Bucky.” He said, still not looking at Sam. 

“What?” Sam asked. 

“My name. It’s Bucky.” He glanced at Sam and then looked forward again.

“Bucky Barnes.” 

Sam snorted next to him. 

“You actually expect me to believe that’s your name?” he asked. Bucky looked up for a second and then moved his eyes back to the street with a sigh. 

“My first name is James. I just prefer Bucky.” He looked at Sam again. 

“Is that more believable for you?” he asked, glaring at Sam. Sam nodded slowly. 

“Yeah. Yeah I guess so.” Sam said slowly. Bucky nodded. 

“Good.” He looked back to the street, there were only a few people walking around now. 

“Now pick one.” Bucky said, inclining his head toward the street they’d been watching. Sam looked from Bucky to the street and then back.

“Just like that? Just pick one?” he asked, he sounded nervous, or excited. Bucky couldn’t really tell at the moment. It may have been both. 

“Just like that.” He said, his eyes moving from person to person. Sam looked back across the street and was silent for a few minutes. 

“That one, the guy in the hoodie.” Sam said. Bucky smirked.

“The guy staring at those two girls who just walked around the corner?” Bucky asked. Sam nodded and then made a noise in his throat.

“The guy following those two girls who just walked around the corner.” Sam said, turning to look at Bucky. Bucky smiled at him. 

“Maybe we should teach him what it feels like to be followed.” Bucky said, pushing himself off the wall and heading across the street when Sam smiled at him and nodded. 

The guy followed the girls for three blocks. They crossed the street three times to try and get him to stop, he followed them across the street every time. Sam and Bucky stayed on their side of the street, watching him. The girls finally made it to their building. They ran up the steps and went inside. Bucky could see the scared looks on their faces as they watched the guy pass their door slowly. The guy kept walking, apparently just wandering around now. 

Bucky picked up his pace and started closing the space between them, Sam matching his stride. They walked silently behind him until he was in arms reach and then Bucky looked at Sam and nodded. Sam nodded back and grabbed the guy. He slammed him against the brick wall and Bucky walked to his other side. 

“What the fuck man?” the guy yelled. Bucky punched him in the face, smirking when he heard the crack of his jaw breaking. He shook his hand then looked at Sam. He was holding the guy against the wall, staring at him. The guy was moaning in pain now. Bucky pressed close to Sam’s back.

“What do you wanna do to him?” he whispered. Bucky smiled when Sam’s fingers dug harder into the guys arms. 

“I wanna kill him.” Sam said, his voice low. The guy’s eyes widened and he started shaking his head. Bucky chuckled and dropped his forehead onto to Sam shoulder. 

“Yeah that’s kinda the point sweetheart. I meant how? How do you wanna kill him?” Bucky asked, moving his hand to Sam’s shoulder slowly and pressing his fingers into Sam’s muscle. He felt Sam shiver and then he looked over his shoulder at Bucky. 

“I don’t- I don’t know. What do you want me to do to him?” Sam asked, he sounded innocent for a guy who’d stabbed someone twenty six times. Bucky bit his lip and pushed closer to him. He wanted to take that innocence and ruin it. He moved his hand down Sam’s back, letting his hand rest on Sam’s hip.

“I want you to strangle him.” Bucky said, giving Sam’s hip a squeeze and then pulling himself away from Sam, moving to his side so he could look at Sam. Sam swallowed hard but nodded. 

“With what? My hands or something else?” Sam asked, his eyes wide, his pupils blown. Bucky smiled and tried not groan at how beautiful that question was. It was the perfect question. The guy was still staring at them, making scared noises but not able to move his jaw to speak. Bucky looked at him and slammed his hand over the guy’s mouth as Sam held him tight against the wall. The guy made a high pitched noise when Bucky’s fingers dug into his jaw.

“Would you shut up? I’m trying to concentrate. And he’s trying to learn.” Bucky growled at the guy. His eyes were pleading, Bucky rolled his own eyes and let go. He expected the guy to make noise again but he was silent. Bucky nodded and then looked back to Sam. 

“You can try your hands. It’ll be hard though. Strangling someone is always harder than you think it will be.” Bucky said. Sam nodded and moved his hands to the guy’s throat. He made another high pitched noise that was cut off almost immediately as Sam tightened his grip. Bucky and Sam were both breathing hard now, their chests rising and falling together as the guy pressed against the wall struggled to breath. Bucky saw Sam’s arms twitch and moved behind him again.

He pressed against Sam’s back and moved his hands down Sam’s arms, covering Sam’s hands with his own and pressing down. He rested his chin on Sam’s shoulder and stared at the guy. 

“Look him in the eyes Sam. Wait until you see it. That light there. The one that’s fighting to stay lit.” he whispered, Sam shivered again and nodded. 

“It’s gonna go out soon. Just wait til that happens Sam. There’s nothing fucking like it.” Bucky said, his lips brushing against Sam’s ear. The guy shuddered underneath Sam’s hands and Bucky felt the muscles in Sam’s hands twitch, he pressed closer still, pushing Sam forward a little.

“You need a little more help? It’s okay if you do.” Bucky breathed, stretching his focus between the guy dying in Sam’s hands and stopping himself from grinding his hips into Sam. 

“Yeah.” Sam said, he sounded breathless. 

“Yeah, help me.” He said. Bucky nodded and pressed his hands harder over Sam’s, pressing his fingers between Sam’s and feeling the hot skin of the guy’s throat. 

His eyes went dark a few seconds later and he felt Sam gasp. Bucky pressed down hard for a few more seconds and then guy’s eyes rolled back before he went limp against the wall. Bucky loosened his grip and pulled Sam’s hands away when he pulled back, reluctantly stepping away from Sam as well. He moved to the side and watched Sam stare down at the lifeless body now crumpled on the ground. Their breathing was the only sound Bucky could hear. 

“You were right.” Sam said, looking up at Bucky, his hands were shaking at his side. 

“It was harder than I thought.” He said. Bucky nodded and stepped closer again. 

“Yeah. But you did good.” He said, and he sounded breathless now. 

“You did so fucking good Sam.” He said, pushing into Sam’s space, his nose brushing against Sam’s again. He kept his eyes open and pressed a little closer, waiting to see if Sam would push him away. His lips brushed Sam’s ever so slightly and then Bucky was being shoved against the wall. He held his hands up by his shoulders in surrender and then realized that Sam’s hand was on his throat. His chest was rising and falling quickly, he looked down, moving only his eyes, at Sam’s hand. 

Sam was looking at him hard, his breathing heavy as he dug his fingers into Bucky’s skin. Bucky thought he looked confused. He thought there was an edge of anger to it as well, but he could work with both. 

“Ya know, we end up like this a lot.” Bucky said, his voice low as he pushed it past the pressure on his throat. Sam’s fingers let up a little as he stared at Bucky. He moved forward a little, pressing into Bucky space like Bucky had just done to him. 

“That’s not- that’s not what I want.” He breathed, his eyes looking down and to the side. Bucky tiled his head.

“What’s not what you want? Us ending up like this? Or me kissing you?” Bucky asked, smirking when Sam’s eyes snapped to him. 

“I- You- the second one.“ Sam stammered. Bucky moved one hand to Sam’s wrist, he squeezed gently. 

“Yeah, you sure about that?” Bucky asked, dropping his eyes to Sam’s crotch.

“You’re pants are looking a little tight Sam.” He said, moving his eyes back up with a smirk. Sam’s hand tightened on his throat again. 

“That’s not because of you.” He said defensively, his voice a growl. Bucky breathed a laugh through is nose. 

“Well isn’t that a shame. Especially since mine’s because of you. Well, mostly because of you anyway.” Bucky said and laughed again when Sam’s eyes darted down and then looked back up. He grimaced at Bucky and loosened his grip again. Bucky took the opportunity to slip out of his grip and spin them around so that he had Sam pressed against the wall, his hand on Sam’s throat now. Sam’s eyes were wide as he stared at Bucky. Bucky pressed forward, his mouth pressing close to Sam’s ear again. 

“As much as I like being man handled, I think that’s enough of that for today.” He whispered, Sam tried to respond and Bucky squeezed his throat, cutting him off. 

“I wasn’t finished.” He said and then loosened his grip so that Sam could breath. 

“You can lie to yourself all you want Sam. But don’t lie to me.” He pulled back and pressed his lips to Sam’s hard, pressing his fingers into Sam’s throat at the same time. Sam moaned against his lips. Bucky pulled back and smiled at him, pressing Sam back into the wall as he pushed himself away from him. 

“Tonight was fun. I’ll see you around Sam.” Bucky said, moving his hand down Sam’s chest and then walking away, into the dark. He glanced back over his shoulder twice. The first time Sam was still pressed against the wall, staring up at the dark sky. The second time Sam was gone. Bucky smiled to himself and ran his tongue over his lips, humming at the taste of Sam that lingered there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's still more to come! i dont know how often i'll be updating, but hopefully it wont take too long between then! i hope not! i hope you guys like it! I'm on tumblr over at [jeffersonshattricks ](http://jeffersonshattricks.tumblr.com/) if you wanna come read more things!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tracks Bucky down at work. He doesn't get the reaction he was expecting. Then they go out again because Sam wants to watch Bucky kill someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one, is really dark guys, there's blood fucking everywhere. there's some bloodplay, which i probably need to add to my tags on this cuz like wow!!!! but yeah, there's knives and blood play and kissing and just be warned. but also, enjoy! <3

Sometimes, on bad days, Bucky wondered why he still worked at the coffee shop. The customers that came in were always one of two things, nice and understanding, they always said things like “oh don’t worry about it” or “It’s fine”, when things went wrong. And they waited patiently for their drinks, almost always giving a bright smile when they got their order. Or they were assholes. There was no in-between. Funnily enough the assholes were always, middle aged women, old people, or white guys with shitty names like Chad or Brent. Bucky hated pretty much all of them. 

But today wasn’t a bad day. Things were going well, the breakfast rush was over, and Bucky’s hand only hurt a little. He’d cut it deeper than he’d meant to that first night with Sam. He wasn’t complaining exactly, it’s not like the pain was too much. He liked it. That was the issue, every time he hit his hand on something the pain when straight to his groin and he was getting really, really, frustrated. 

He sighed to himself as he made some tall women an iced coffee with caramel syrup, whipped cream and chocolate syrup drizzled on top. It was the sweetest sounding drink order he’d gotten all day. Natasha was at the counter, taking the next order. Bucky thought for a second that the voice sounded familiar and then he smacked his hand on the edge of the counter and bit his lip, the voice drowned out completely. 

Then he was distracted when he handed the women her drink and she proceeded to hit on him. He smiled awkwardly and waited for her to leave. He’d never really mastered the act of telling women that he really preferred cock to vagina. Because he always said it exactly that way and they seemed to not enjoy that very much. He didn’t really care.

Natasha called part of the order back to him and he ducked down and reached into the case, grabbing a blueberry muffin and putting it in a bag gently. He set the bag on the counter and glared at Nat when she walked over to him and handed him the cup. She smiled brightly and took the bag back with her. Bucky took the cup and started filling it with coffee, and that’s when he heard Nat ask for the guys name.

“Sam.” Was all he said, in that all too familiar voice. 

Bucky moved his head slowly to look over Nat’s shoulder and saw a pair of brown eyes looking at him. Sam stared at him for a few seconds and then moved to the side. Bucky’s hands started shaking. He looked back to the coffee just in time, he’d nearly filled it to spilling over. Then he’d have a nice burn to go with his cut. He pressed a lid onto the cup gently and then walked it over to counter, ignoring Natasha’s outstretched hand reaching for it.

“Sam.” Bucky said, his voice low. Sam smiled at him, one corner of his mouth going higher than the other.

“Hey.” He said, and Bucky could see the smirk, he wanted to dig his teeth into Sam’s lip to make him stop. 

“How’d you know I worked here?” Bucky asked, his voice sounding tight, even to himself. He forced his hands to stay still on the counter top. Sam shrugged. 

“I just did a little research.” He said, smiling again before turning and walking out the door. Bucky stared after him, his eyes unblinking as he watched him walk past the window, heading to the right. 

“Wow. That was tense. Did you two fuck or something?” Natasha asked from Bucky’s left, she was leaning close to him, closer than he liked people to be. He stepped away from her and kept staring out the window.

“No. I’m going on break.” Bucky said, his voice flat and empty. 

“What? You just had a break like an hour ago.” Natasha said, sounding like she was about to start arguing with him. Bucky turned to look at her slowly. 

“And you were an hour and half late today. I had to work the rush by myself while you were off doing fuck knows what with Clint. So I’m going on break. I think you can handle the zero people in line right now.” He said coldly, then pushed past her and walked around the counter. He pushed the door open and took a deep breath of cold air before turning to the right and walking down the sidewalk. 

He didn’t have to walk far. Sam was waiting for him three allies down. Bucky smelled his coffee before he saw him. He ducked around the corner and fell back against the wall opposite Sam. He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and just stared at Sam. He stared back. 

“I guess I’ll go first.” Bucky said.

“So what are you doing here?” he asked, moving his arms to wrap around himself in the cold. 

“Just stopping by, thought you might be interested to know that you’re not the only one that knows how to use a computer.” Sam said, shrugging again. Bucky chuckled and smiled crookedly. 

“I’m supremely interested. Never been more interested in anything in my life.” Bucky said flatly. Sam smiled again, and yeah, Bucky really wanted to make that stop. 

“So you know where I work, well done. You know where I live too? I can give you the address if you couldn’t find it.” Bucky said, smirking when the smile dropped off Sam’s face. 

“You don’t care that I tracked you down?” Sam asked, narrowing his eyes. Bucky snorted.

“Why would I? What are you gonna do? Try and blackmail me? I’ve got just as much shit on you as you’ve got on me Sam. That’s not how this works.” Bucky said, resting his head back against the bricks behind him, his eyes nearly shut as he kept looking at Sam. 

“I wasn’t going to try and blackmail you. I just-“ he cut off and shrugged again. 

“Yeah, I get you. I do. So,” Bucky said, pausing and lifting his head again. 

“Why are you really here Sam?” he asked, his voice quiet, he smirked when Sam leaned forward a little, trying to hear him probably. All Bucky got was another shrug. 

“Come on now. Don’t be like that. Tell me what you want Sam.” Bucky said, digging his fingers into his ribs to keep them warm. Sam’s eyes widened as he looked at Bucky. Bucky raised his eyebrows and waited. 

“I wanted to watch you.” Sam said quietly, looking at the ground.

“You wanted to watch me? Watch me what? Make coffee?” Bucky asked, sounding skeptical. Sam snorted and rolled his eyes and then looked back up at Bucky. 

“No, not that. The other thing.” Sam said, his voice full of meaning. Bucky dropped his mouth open in a small “O”.

“Oh right. The killing thing.” He whispered, smiling when Sam’s eyes widened and he looked out toward the street like he was afraid someone would hear. 

“Don’t worry Sam. They won’t hear us. Because they don’t want too. No one wants to hear what two guys are talking about in an ally, trust me.” Bucky said, smirking when Sam smiled and looked at the ground. 

“So you wanted to watch me huh?” Bucky prompted, inclining his head when Sam didn’t say anything for a few moments. Sam looked at him slowly and nodded. 

“Yeah, it’s just. You’ve seen me do it. And last time, you helped. And I just- I’ve never seen you do it alone before. And I…” he trailed off and took a deep breath, looking up at the grey clouds above them. Bucky took a step forward.

“You what Sam?” he asked quietly. Sam looked back down at him and bit his lip.

“I want to. I want to watch you do it.” He said. If Bucky didn’t know any better he’d say Sam was blushing. Bucky smiled at him, an actual genuine smile, the first one he’d had in awhile. 

“Okay.” He said simply. Sam’s eyes widened. 

“Really?” he asked, he sounded giddy. Bucky nodded and took another step closer to Sam. Sam took a step forward too. 

“Yeah really. Is tonight good for you?” Bucky asked, running his tongue over his lip and then pulling it between his teeth. He saw Sam’s eyes track the movement but didn’t comment on it. Sam was nodding at him.

“Yeah. Yeah tonight’s great.” He said, he sounded like he’d been running, his breathing heavy. Bucky nodded slowly and pressed close to Sam, he waited for Sam to pull back and smiled when he didn’t.

“Then I’ll see you tonight Sam.” He nearly whispered. Sam swallowed hard and nodded slowly, his eyes dropping to Bucky’s lips and then back up to his eyes. Bucky smirked and then swayed forward. He pressed his lips gently to the corner of Sam’s mouth and then pulled back and walked away. Smirking when he saw Sam sway forward after him. 

“Wait.” Sam said before Bucky stepped out of the ally onto the sidewalk. Bucky turned to look at him, one eyebrow lifting on his forehead. 

“Why do you do it? Why do you kill people?” Sam asked, still keeping his voice low. Bucky looked at him for a long moment and then shrugged. 

“Because I like it.” He said simply. Sam gave him a look, like he thought he was lying. 

“Listen. If you’re expecting some mommy and daddy didn’t love me enough bullshit sob story, you aren’t gonna get one from me. My parents were great, wonderful people, really. I just like it. And all those people, people like us, who hide behind all that shit they say, like being possessed, and hearing voices. And being sociopaths and psychopaths and shit. That’s all fucking bullshit.” Bucky said, stepping closer to Sam again. 

“There are people out there who have all those mental disorders and are perfectly functioning human beings. Those things don’t make you a killer. And I don’t see the point in hiding behind all that shit. I like killing people, it makes me feel good. Real good.” He said, stopping almost a foot away from Sam. Sam was watching him intently, his eyes wide, taking in every word Bucky was saying. 

“So if you’re gonna do this. Don’t bullshit it. Be honest.” Bucky finished. Sam nodded.

“I like it too.” He whispered, looking at Bucky through his lashes. Bucky smiled and nodded.

“I noticed.” He said. Sam laughed through his nose and smiled at him. Bucky backed away again and made it to the sidewalk before stopping.

“See ya later Sam. Same place same time. I won’t be late this time.” he said with a smirk and headed back to the coffee shop. 

“Promise?” Sam called after him.

“Promise.” Bucky said without turning around. He pulled the door of the shop open and walked inside. Natasha was looking at him with that knowing look on her face. Some day’s he really wanted to shove a bread knife deep into her eye socket and just leave her on the floor. But he had a thing about not killing people you worked with, it was too dangerous. He walked back around the counter and she kept staring at him. 

“Sooo… you make any progress with the hunk?” she asked, Bucky dug his fingers into his palm, pressing them deep into the bandage wrapped around his hand. He turned to her slowly and smiled the best he could.

“Did you ever have one of those magic 8 balls when you were a kid?” he asked. 

“Yeah, why?” she asked, looking confused. 

“Did you ever get the answer that said to stop asking questions?” he asked, looking at her innocently. 

“Um… no. I don’t think that was one of the answers.” She said. Bucky looked up like he was thinking and then looked back to her.

“That’s a shame isn’t it? That would have been the best answer.” He said, sounding dreamy, and then he turned and walked into the small back room, leaving her standing there looking confused. He pressed his fingers hard into his palm, until there was blood blooming across the bandage. He bit his lip and pressed harder, his head going fuzzy as he watched the blood drip down his knuckles and onto the floor.

~***~

He was there before Sam tonight. He’d promised he wouldn’t be late. Sam showed up about five minutes after him. He walked up and waited for Bucky to start down the sidewalk. They walked in silence for almost an hour before Bucky picked a corner to stand on. He was aware of how that sounded, picking corners to stand on, he just didn’t care. They stood just outside the street lights circle of light and watched people. 

“Do you have a preference? I brought a few different…toys, in case you had a preferred method in mind.” Bucky said, leaning back against the wall and letting his head fall to the side so he could look at Sam. Sam swallowed and looked at him.

“Do you- did you bring a knife?” he asked, his voice shaking a little. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was nervousness or excitement, he thought it might be both. Bucky smiled at him.

“Aww, that’s so cute. Of course I did. I always do. There’s a more important question to ask though.” He said, smirking at Sam. 

“What question?” he asked, sounding eager now.

“Big or little?” Bucky said, blinking slowly as Sam. He watched Sam swallow hard and then lick his lips. 

“Whichever one you like best.” He said quietly. Bucky hummed and smiled, closing his eyes as he moved his head to look forward again. 

“Big it is then.” He said quietly and opened his eyes. They stood in silence for almost an hour, watching people. And waiting. Bucky watched as a guy walked past a woman he didn’t know and looked her up and down. Now Bucky had no preference, he’d killed women before, but there was something about a guy who’d look at women like they were meat that really got to him. He narrowed his eyes, bumped his shoulder into Sam’s and then headed down the sidewalk. 

They followed him for three blocks, they talked quietly for awhile. Bucky asked what Sam wanted to do. They decided he’d just hang back and watch Bucky work. Bucky told him he could join in if he wanted. Sam said he just wanted to watch. Bucky nodded and then they were quiet again. He quickened his pace and got close to the guy, then wrapped his arm around his neck and pulled him down a side street. Bucky put his hand over the guys mouth to keep him from yelling. He tightened his arm around his neck and the guy stopped struggling.

“Yeah, that’s better. Hush now.” Bucky said, loosening his grip a little.

“I’m gonna take my hand away now. And you, are not going to make a sound, except to answer my question. You got that?” Bucky asked, whispering in his ear. The guy nodded.

“Good boy.” He said and moved his hand away. 

“Now, what’s your name?” Bucky asked. The guy made a confused sound. 

“What?” he asked, the terror in his voice sending chills down Bucky’s spine.

“What.” Bucky said slowly, pulling his knife out and holding it in front of the guys face.

“Is your name?” he asked again. 

“Ken. My name is Ken.” He said frantically. Bucky made a face, looking at Sam and grimacing.

“Ken? That’s a terrible fucking name, I’m doing the world a service tonight, jesus.” Bucky said, shaking his head. The guy started struggling again and Bucky spun him around fast and slammed him to the ground. He just laid there, the air knocked out of him. Bucky sunk down and straddled him, settling his butt on the guys knees.

“I’ll be honest with you Ken. This is gonna be very unpleasant for you.” Bucky said slowly. The guy, Ken, screamed and Bucky slapped his hand over his mouth again, leaning over the guy and pressing his knife into the soft skin of his cheek. 

“Don’t do that.” He whispered, his voice low. He dug the knife in deeper and the guy squirmed under him, his legs kicking. 

“Listen, the more you struggle the worse this is going to be for you…Ken.” He practically spat the guys name and then moved the knife quickly across his cheek, cutting it open. Blood poured down his cheek and Bucky saw Sam move closer. The guy was still trying to scream under Bucky’s hand. 

“Ya know what. I have just the solution for this.” He said, setting his knife down next to the guys head. He reached into his jacket and pulled out a smaller knife. He flipped it open and then pressed the blade up under his chin. The guys eyes widened and he shook his head as much as he could with Bucky’s hand holding him down hard. Bucky looked at him and nodded sarcastically. Then he shoved the smaller blade up through the guys chin. It went through his tongue and into the top of his mouth.

Bucky took his hand away and blood sprayed out of the guy’s mouth as he tried to scream, some of it landed on Bucky’s face, covering him in little red dots. No sound came out and his jaw wouldn’t move, it was pinned in place by the smaller knife. Bucky nodded to himself, satisfied, then looked up at Sam. His eyes were wide as he stared down at them. 

“Sure you don’t wanna help sweetheart?” he asked, his voice gravely. Sam shook his head and cleared his throat. 

“No. I wanna watch.” He said, he sounded winded. Bucky could hear him breathing heavily. He nodded and then picked his knife back up. 

“This is gonna hurt.” He said quietly to the guy beneath him. He made a weak sound, more blood came out of his mouth and then his eyes went wide when Bucky shoved his knife between his ribs. 

He pulled it out and then sank it in again, and again, and again. Blood pooled on the guys chest and then ran over, Bucky’s hands were covered. He shoved the knife in again and smirked at the weak crying sound the guy made, he was barely moving underneath Bucky now, and his eyes were closed, his face covered in his own blood. Bucky could hear Sam panting. He felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin. He pulled his knife out again and then leaned forward, hovering over the guy. 

“Thanks for the fun Ken.” He whispered and then stabbed his knife back in again, right into his heart. He made a small strangled noise and shuddered underneath him and then he was gone. Bucky stared down at him, his chest rising and falling quickly. He pulled his knife out again, it made a beautiful squelching noise when he did. He looked at it for a moment, just staring at the steel tinted red with blood. He wiped it on the guys shirt, getting it as clean as he could and then he yanked his other knife out of the guys face, cleaning that one as well and then shoving them both back into his pocket. 

He sat back with a sigh and then looked up at Sam. His hands were fisted at his sides and he was staring down at Bucky with wide eyes. Bucky pushed himself to his feet and walked toward him. He raised one blood covered hand and grabbed Sam’s face, covering him in blood from the nose down. Bucky lowered his hand and pressed close to Sam. He could feel Sam’s breath on his face. 

“How bout it Sam. You didn’t want it last time. Do you want it now?” Bucky asked, brushing his nose against Sam’s. 

“Yes.” Sam breathed and pulled Bucky forward, his hands going up under Bucky’s shirt with ease. Bucky moaned as their teeth crashed together and Sam clawed at his back. Bucky moved his bloody hands to Sam’s face, pulling him closer, both of them moaning at the taste of blood on their lips. 

“Harder.” Bucky growled. Sam made a small noise and then Bucky was moaning as Sam’s nails dug into his skin. Bucky moved his hands down Sam’s body until he could get them up under Sam’s shirt. He dug his fingers hard into Sam’s hips and then moaned again when Sam bit into his lip. Bucky’s head was spinning, the smell of Sam and blood mixing in the air and making him shiver. They both pulled back at the same time and looked at each other, breathing heavily into the small space between them. 

“You’ve got blood on your face.” Sam said through his heavy breathing. Bucky laughed through his nose and kissed Sam again, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and then pulling back again. 

“I wonder how that got there.” He said with a smirk. Sam chuckled and leaned forward, his head falling onto Bucky’ shoulder. 

“We shoulder get out of here.” Bucky whispered. Sam nodded and pulled himself reluctantly away from Bucky. Bucky pulled his jacket off and wiped at his face, then he wiped Sam’s face. He tied the jacket around his waist and then grabbed Sam’s hand. His skin felt tight where the blood had dried. 

“You wanna come with me? Or you wanna go home?” Bucky asked, giving Sam’s hand a squeeze. Sam looked at him and made another small noise. 

“I wanna go with you but-“ he stopped and bit his lip. 

“What?” Bucky asked, tilting his head. 

“I don’t… I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He said quietly, looking up at Bucky like he was afraid of what his reaction might be. Bucky pressed into his space again, his hands moving to the side of Sam’s face. He kissed him gently, licking over Sam’s bottom lip and then looking at him. 

“I’m not gonna make you do something you don’t wanna do Sam. But someday,” he took a deep breath and kissed Sam again. Sam pulled him closer and moaned as their tongues pressed together, both of them still tasting like blood. Bucky broke the kiss and rested their foreheads together.

“Someday you’ll come home with me Sam. I know it.” He said, and then pulled back. Sam looked at him, watched him take a few steps back and nodded. 

“I know it too. Just not tonight.” He said quietly, licking his lips nervously. Bucky nodded and smiled. 

“Whenever you’re ready Sam. I’ll be here.” He said, opening his palms at his sides. Sam smiled at him. 

“Yeah, I’m getting that.” He said, laughing through his nose. Bucky smiled at him again and then turned to leave. 

He took three steps, groaned and then turned back to look at Sam again. They stared at each other for a minute and then they rushed together again, their lips crashing together roughly. Bucky moaned when he felt Sam’s teeth break the skin of his bottom lip, adding more of that copper tang to the kiss. Sam dug his nails into Bucky’s back again, making him squirm against him. Bucky moved his hand up and squeezed Sam’s throat, they both moaned and rolled their hips together and then Bucky was pulling himself out of Sam’s arms and walking backwards away from him.

“I’ll see you soon Sam.” He said with a smile. Sam nodded as he brought his fingers to his lips.

“Promise?” Sam asked with a smirk. Bucky smirked back and nodded.

“Promise.” 

They smiled at each other again, their lips red with blood, and then disappeared into the dark.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bucky go on an actual sort of, kind of, date. Then they see someone who sparks their regular kind of "date". Then they end up back at Bucky's place where things get a little heated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So two things, there's a nazi in this. and he's rude to Sam. But i didn't give him any actual dialogue because i can't brign myself to write hateful words like that, even in fic. I just can't do it. So you can decide for yourself what he says to Sam. He doesn't make it out alive anyway so it doesn't 100% matter. But with everything going on in the world right now, i needed to kill a nazi. i hope you understand. and then second thing, i have no clue where the sex scene in this came from. Like, it's not super long, but its like...really intense. at least, it felt that way when i was writing it. so i don't know, i hope you enjoy it! thank for reading guys! <3 <3 <3 two more chapters after this one and then it will be done! what what!!! 
> 
> p.s. - there will be more sex in the next chapter, and i feel that i should tell you, it won't always be Bottom!Bucky, there will be Bottom!Sam too! :D

“I guess I should have asked about rules before we started this huh?” Sam asked, lacing his fingers in his lap and looking at Bucky though his lashes. Bucky swallowed the bite of pizza he’d been chewing on, giving Sam a look that made his stomach flutter. 

“Rules?” he asked, leaning forward a little, his elbows on the table.

“Yeah. About all this. Ya know, what’s okay and…what’s not.” Sam said, looking around the nearly empty dining room. He was always so fucking paranoid that someone was going to hear him. And then he’d get caught, and sent to prison. He wasn’t sure he’d survive in prison. Bucky nodded a little and then laid his palms on the table. 

“Well I have rules, for myself. Things I don’t let myself do. Things I don’t let myself have. But you’re a smart guy Sam, you can make your own rules for yourself. I’m not gonna force you to follow mine.” Bucky said, his voice quiet and low as he looked at Sam. Sam took a deep breath and nodded. He moved his eyes away from Bucky’s. He could never look at him for long, couldn’t take the way Bucky looked at him. 

“So no rules at all? Not even like, professionalism rules?” Sam asked, picking at the slice of cheese pizza on his plate. For some reason he was finding it hard to eat in front of Bucky. Maybe because he knew he’d be watching him, and he wasn’t really fond of people watching him eat. He always felt like they were judging him. Sam felt his chest tighten as Bucky smirked at him. 

“Hmm… what kind of rules did you have in mind Sam?” Bucky asked, licking pizza sauce off his lip and then digging his teeth into it. Sam bit his own automatically and then shrugged. 

“I don’t know. Most jobs have that rule about not having sex with your co-workers.” Sam said, feeling his face heat up as he spoke, and then even more when Bucky smiled smugly across from him. 

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing we’re not sleeping together… yet.” Bucky said, taking a huge bite of pizza, somehow managing to smirk around it and still make Sam’s stomach flip. 

“Yet? You’re being a little sure of yourself aren’t you?” Sam asked, raising his eyebrow. Bucky nodded and leaned forward, sliding his crossed arms across the table top toward Sam. 

“I’ve had your tongue in my mouth Sam. So yeah, I’m a little sure of myself.” Bucky said with a wink. Sam swallowed hard. 

“Just because I’ve had your tongue- or… I mean, you’ve had my tongue- that doesn’t mean anything.” Sam said, trying to sound defensive but stammering through it. Bucky laughed. Actually honest to god laughed, and Sam felt like his skin was vibrating. 

“Right. Of course not. But can I tell you a secret?” Bucky asked, whispering now. Sam leaned forward across the table to hear him better. His fingers brushing against Bucky’s arm, making the hair on Sam’s own arms stand on end.

“It didn’t feel like it didn’t mean anything.” Bucky whispered, and then sat back, uncrossing his arms and straightening them so that his hands stayed near Sam’s. Sam bit his lip and sat back, keeping his hands on the table like Bucky had. He let Bucky stare at him and looked out the window. 

“Sam?” Bucky asked. Sam startled and looked back to him. 

“What?” he asked, Bucky smiled at him briefly, like it was an automatic movement of his mouth now. 

“Something wrong with the pizza?” Bucky asked, tilting his head towards Sam’s nearly full slice of pizza. Sam looked down at it and shook his head. 

“No, it’s good. I just…” He shrugged again, not sure what to say. 

“You can eat in front of me ya know. I’m not gonna be an asshole or anything.” Bucky said. Sam’s eyes widened as he looked at him. 

“I- wha- how did you know that’s the problem?” Sam asked, his voice quiet. He felt small for some reason, the way Bucky looked at him sometimes, the way he just, knew things, made Sam feel small. Bucky shrugged now. 

“Just a good guess. You can eat Sam. I mean fuck, you could eat a whole goddamn pizza by yourself and I wouldn’t say a damn thing about it.” Bucky said, he moved his hand on the table, brushing his fingers against Sam’s. 

Sam shivered and stared at their hands, he moved his fingers slowly and pushed them between Bucky’s. Bucky opened his fingers immediately and let Sam in. Sam pushed his hand forward and laced their fingers together. He was beginning to feel like this was a date. And not like their normal kinds of dates. This felt different. He shivered again and then looked up to see Bucky smiling at him. He smiled back and looked into his lap before looking back up. He gave Bucky’s hand a squeeze before pulling his hand away, then picked his pizza up and took a huge bite. 

Bucky drummed his fingers on the table top quickly and then crossed his arms again. Sam chewed his mouthful and tried not to laugh when Bucky smiled him and nodded. They sat there for awhile longer, not saying anything, just looking out the window and watching the people walk past. Sam finished his pizza pretty quickly and then Bucky sat up in his chair suddenly. He was still looking out the window but now there was a look of disgust on his face. Sam followed his eye line and quickly realized why.

There was a guy standing on the corner waiting for the light to change. He looked relatively normal. He could just be any random guy. But that’s not what Bucky was staring at. His eyes were locked onto the large red and black patch on the back of the guys jacket. The jacket was worn jean, and the patch was big black swastika with a red background. Sam felt his chest tighten and his stomach turn. He heard a noise and turned to look at the table. Bucky had snapped his plastic fork in his hand. Sam watched Bucky look slowly to his hand and then up to Sam. 

“Did you see that?” he asked, his voice was tight. He sounded livid. Sam had never heard him sound that way. He nodded at him and licked his lips. 

“You wanna do something about it?” he asked, his voice going lower and his eyes going dark. Sam felt that pull in his gut and nodded again. Bucky stood up and grabbed his trash, Sam did the same and then followed him out the door. 

They followed him for a long time, staying farther back than normal. Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that Bucky was following his lead on this one. He was walking a little behind Sam, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his hoodie. Sam still hadn’t managed to wrangle up the courage to ask him why he always wore such thin jackets. It was winter, he should be wearing a coat, he always seemed to be cold. But he figured it was none of his business. He felt Bucky’s hand on his elbow and snapped back to the moment.

“We should do this soon. We’re getting a little close to my place for comfort.” Bucky whispered. Sam nodded.

“Okay. You wanna grab him?” Sam asked. Bucky looked at the guys back for a second and then nodded.

“I’ll grab him. You kill him.” Bucky said, making Sam shiver when he moved his eyes back to him. Sam nodded again and they picked up their pace. 

They were about three feet away when the guy spun around. He had a knife in his hand and he lunged at Sam. Bucky moved between them and hit the guys arm so hard that Sam heard a loud popping noise and then the guy was screaming. Bucky kicked the knife away when he dropped it and grabbed the guy by the back of the neck. He spun him around and pushed him into the brick wall of the building they were next too. 

He fell to the ground and groaned. Then he looked up at Bucky and laughed, then his eyes moved to Sam and he opened his mouth and said words that made Sam’s heart race and his stomach drop. Sam stepped back, he felt like he’d been slapped. He heard Bucky growl and then watched him kick the guy in the face. His head snapped back and then he looked back up at them with blood in his teeth. Bucky grabbed the guys’ jacket and pulled him across the side walk, letting go of him when his head was near the curb. He straightened back up and looked at Sam.

“You ever curb stomped a nazi Sam?” Bucky asked, his voice lined with venom. Sam shivered and looked down at the guy on the ground, his hateful words echoing around Sam’s head. 

“No. I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure.” Sam said, he was shaking now, his nails digging into his palms because his hands were fisted so tight. Bucky held his hand out, gesturing for Sam to go ahead. Sam thought it was pretty messed up that to him, Bucky looked like a prince in a fairytale waiting for Sam to walk down one of those crazy luxurious staircases to the ball. Sam didn’t care if it was messed up. Not anymore. Because Bucky was messed up too, and he knew that if he ever said it out loud to him, that Bucky would understand…he hoped. 

Sam stepped forward and stared down at the man who’d just called him a word that he hated more than anything. He was vaguely aware of Bucky standing behind him, hands shoved in his pockets, watching. He moved closer, until he was standing right over him. The guy’s eyes were wide as he looked up at Sam, the blood on his teeth seeming brighter than anything else Sam could see. The guy opened his mouth to say something and Sam picked his foot up and brought it down on the guys face before he could say anything.   
The crack that rang through the air sent chills down Sam’s spine. He picked his foot up and brought it down again, hard. He felt like his lungs were closing up. He brought his foot down again and again until Bucky’s arms were wrapping around him and pulling him away. 

“Hey. Hey. Sam. It’s okay. Stop. You’re-“ he cut off when Sam pushed him away and slammed him into the wall. Sam’s hand was on his throat, squeezing. All he could see was red.

“Sam.” Bucky gasped out, one hand wrapping around Sam’s wrist, the other moving to rest on Sam’s chest. 

“Sam it’s me. It’s Bucky.” He choked out. Sam could hear him, but he seemed far away, like he was talking to Sam from across the street instead of right in front of him. 

“Sam…” he breathed weakly, Sam’s fingers were still digging into his throat. Then Bucky’s fist slammed into the side of Sam’s face and he let go. He stood looking at Bucky with wide eyes. Bucky was bent over, coughing with his hand on his throat. 

“I- I’m sorry.” Sam said, his voice shaking on a sob and he turned and ran. He didn’t get very far when he felt a hand on his elbow. 

“Sam stop!” Bucky yelled. Sam did stop. He stopped and let Bucky turn him around. He closed his eyes hard when Bucky brought his hands up to the sides of Sam’s face. 

“It’s okay Sam.” He said, his voice was raspy and Sam snapped his eyes open.

“It’s okay!? It’s okay that I almost killed you?” He asked, his voice louder than he’d meant for it to be. Bucky was nodding and Sam felt anger building inside his chest again. 

“Yeah. It is. Cuz you didn’t. It’s okay. You’re gonna lose it sometimes. It happens.” Bucky said, pulling Sam close and resting their heads together. They stood there, breathing heavily for a few minutes. 

“What do I do to stop that?” Sam whispered. Bucky moved his hand to the back of Sam’s neck and moved his fingers gently against his hair line.

“You bring me with you, and I stop it.” Bucky whispered back. 

“And if you can’t stop me? If I hurt you too badly next time?” Sam asked, his voice shaking as he moved his shaking hands up to pull at Bucky’s jacket. Bucky pulled back and looked at him. 

“Then you kill me. And I die. And you keep going.” Bucky said, his voice low. Sam grimaced and tried to pull away from him. Bucky pulled him back, pulled him close.

“But that won’t happen. You won’t kill me Sam. And if you do, if you get that lost, then my god. What a way for me to go.” Bucky breathed out, he sounded like he’d found the answer to everything he’d ever been looking for, it made Sam’s knees weak. He opened his mouth to say something, to say anything, but was cut off by Bucky crashing their mouths together. Sam felt his tongue slip into his mouth and moaned. He pulled Bucky close and let Bucky take what he wanted from him. After a few filthy moments Bucky pulled back, just a fraction. 

“My place?” he breathed against Sam’s lips. Sam felt his stomach drop again and then that pull in his groin that Bucky always seemed to put there. He nodded and let Bucky pull him down the street, giving the dead, now headless, nazi one last look, his blood pooling in the street, before they rounded the corner. 

~***~

Bucky held his hand the whole way. Only letting go to dig his keys out of his pocket and open the door. Then he pulled Sam in and pushed him against the door. Everything happened so fast after that. There were hands grabbing and pushing and pulling. Their hips fit and moved together like they were made for it. Sam moaned more than he ever had in his life every time Bucky’s mouth was on him. And then their clothes were gone and they were naked on Bucky’s bed, moving together until Bucky shoved a bottle of lube and a condom into Sam’s hands and pushed him back, so he was resting on his knees between Bucky’s legs. 

“Ya know that anger you had earlier. That feeling of hate that made your blood boil?” Bucky asked, panting as he looked up at Sam. Sam bit his lip and nodded. 

“Yeah, yeah I know.” he breathed. Bucky nodded frantically and reached up, then moved his hand down Sam’s chest, his nails leaving trails on Sam’s skin. 

“Find that again. And then fuck me.” Bucky said, pushing his nails in harder and making Sam hiss. He looked down at Bucky, his skin flushed read, his swollen cock resting against his stomach, his pupils blown wide, and felt his heart pick up even faster. He popped the top on the lube and then moved his hands between Bucky’s legs. He pressed against Bucky ass carefully until Bucky growled and grabbed his wrist, he looked at Sam with something wild in his eyes. 

“Don’t be gentle with me Sam. That’s not what I want.” He said, his voice low as he jerked Sam’s hand forward and pushed Sam’s finger inside himself. Sam’s mouth dropped open as he watched Bucky fuck himself with Sam’s finger, his lip between his teeth as he hissed at the pain, his hips jerking. Sam was breathless. He’d never seen anything so goddamn beautiful. He pushed another finger in without warning and Bucky’s body clenched around him as he moaned loudly, his hand moving from Sam’s wrist to grab at the sheets. 

Sam shoved his fingers in deeper, rubbing against Bucky roughly, dragging breathy sounds out of him as he writhed on the bed. His muscles moving under his skin making Sam’s mouth water. He bent down and licked at Bucky chest. He moved up to Bucky’s neck, his fingers still working inside of him as he bit down on Bucky’s throat on a whim. Bucky’s hands slapped against Sam’s back and pulled him closer, his nails scratching at him again, his heavy breathing against Sam’s shoulder making Sam shiver. 

“Fuck Sam. So good.” Bucky breathed, his hips grinding down on Sam’s fingers hard. 

“Fuck me. Fuck me Sam. Please.” He whined into Sam’s skin. The sound of Bucky begging nearly sent him over the edge. He bit into his lip and pulled his fingers out. He had to dig his teeth in deeper because of the noise Bucky made when he did. 

He grabbed the condom and rolled it on, then grabbed some more lube. Because he knew Bucky liked the pain, but he still didn’t like the idea of hurting him that way. He dropped forward, propping himself up with a hand next to Bucky’s head. He reached between their legs with his other hand and lined himself up, teasing Bucky’s hole with the head of his cock as he looked down at him. Bucky smirked at him and then licked his lips. Sam smirked back and shoved himself inside him. 

Bucky’s eyes squeezed shut and his mouth dropped open as Sam bottomed out. One of his hands moving from Sam’s back down to his ass as he pulled him even closer. 

“Move.” He growled in Sam ear. Sam leaned down to kiss him, his tongue pressing against Bucky’s wetly before he pulled back, he pulled Bucky’s bottom lip between his teeth as he went. Then he lowered himself down more, wrapping his arms behind Bucky’s back to grab at his shoulders before he pulled all the way out of Bucky and then slammed in again. 

He held him tight as he fucked him, his cock throbbing inside Bucky as he dragged whines out of the man beneath him. He was almost about to come when Bucky pushed him up and away from him. Sam stopped moving his hips and sat back, his cock still inside Bucky as they looked at each other. He once again got the feeling Bucky knew what he was feeling. Bucky slid his hand under his pillow and pulled out a small knife. Sam’s eyes went wide and then his face softened as Bucky pressed the knife gently into Sam’s hand. 

“I want you to cut me. Can you do that for me Sam?” Bucky asked, his breathing heavy as he moved his hips in a circle slowly, moving himself on Sam’s cock and dragging a moan of him. 

“Yeah. Yeah Buck I can do that.” Sam said, nodding quickly as he flicked the knife open. Bucky bit into his lip as he stared at the blade in Sam’s hand. Sam watched him for a moment and couldn’t shake the feeling that they were meant for each other. He was the only other fucking person Sam had ever met who looked at a knife like that. 

“Where?” Sam asked after their long silence. Bucky moved his eyes away from the knife like he was in a daze.

“What?” he asked, sounding out of it. Sam smiled and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Bucky’s ear, thrusting into him hard and dragging another moan out of him. 

“Where do you want me to cut you?” he whispered, pulling Bucky’s ear between his teeth and then sitting back up. Bucky smiled at him and moved his hand to his chest, pressing his palm over his heart.

“Right here.” He said and then moved his hand away. Sam nodded and pressed the blade against Bucky’s skin, he felt him shiver and pressed harder. Bucky closed his eyes again, his head pressing back into the pillow as his teeth dug into his lip. Sam pressed harder until there was blood pooling at the tip of the knife then he moved it down fast, thrusting into Bucky again as he did. Bucky screamed and clenched around him, his body shaking as he came for Sam. 

Sam dropped the knife on the bed and moved his fingers through the blood on Bucky’s chest, smearing blood across Bucky’s skin as he went limp beneath him. Sam bent to lick at the cut, making Bucky hiss. Then he sat back up and pressed his bloody fingers to Bucky’s lips. Bucky’s eyes sprang open and he looked at Sam, his mouth dropping open slowly as he looked at him. Sam pressed his fingers into the wet heat of Bucky mouth, smearing blood over his tongue as he thrust into him again, hard. Bucky whined again, his tongue pressing against Sam’s fingers as he fucked into Bucky and then he bit down gently and Sam was coming, the edge of his vision going white as he fell forward onto Bucky.

They lay there for a few moments, just breathing against each other. Sam moved first, pulling away and out of Bucky. Bucky made a small noise as Sam’s cock slipped out of him, his hand grabbing at Sam’s arm.

“You okay?” Sam asked, pressing a small kiss to the corner of Bucky’s mouth. Bucky nodded slowly and then let go of Sam’s arm so he could get off the bed. 

Sam fumbled around the room and found his way to Bucky’s bathroom. He threw the condom away and grabbed two wash cloths. He wiped himself up and then went back to the bed and did the same for Bucky, who was still lying in the same spot. He watched Sam clean him with glazed eyes. Sam smiled at him once and he smiled back slowly. He dropped the dirty wash cloth on the floor and then wiped at Bucky’s bleeding chest with the other one. He got most of the blood off, the smears anyway. But the cut wouldn’t stop bleeding.  
Sam sighed and laid down next to Bucky, pressing the cloth against the cut, his arm draped over Bucky’s chest, his head resting on his shoulder. 

“I think I cut you too deep.” Sam whispered, his voice full of concern. 

“You cut me perfect.” Bucky said quietly, his voice sounding a little dreamy. He finally moved though, his hand coming up to rest on Sam’s shoulder. 

“Fucked me perfect too.” He said then, and Sam didn’t even need to look at him to know he was smirking. Sam chuckled and pressed his lips to Bucky’s skin. 

“No one’s ever told me I do that perfectly.” He said quietly, into Bucky’s side. Bucky pulled back and looked down at him, Sam looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Well that’s a crying shame. I’m offended on your behalf.” He said, smiling and then kissing Sam before relaxing back into the bed again. Sam lifted the cloth and watched blood bubble up again before placing it back down, his hand resting over the cloth, his head still resting on Bucky’s shoulder. He moved his eyes over Bucky’s skin and that’s when he noticed his arm for the first time. It was covered in scars, from shoulder to wrist. Now that he thought about it his hand had some scaring too. He wasn’t sure how he’d never noticed it, he’d seen Bucky’s arm before. 

“How’d that happen?” he asked quietly, he didn’t want to break the calm quiet in the room. 

“Hmm? How’d what happen?” Bucky asked, he sounded sleepy. He moved his fingers slowly over Sam’s shoulder. 

“You’re arm.” Was all Sam said. He’d expected Bucky to freeze up, or tell him to leave, and tell him not to ask about it. But the question didn’t seem to faze him, his fingers didn’t even jump on Sam’s shoulder. 

“Oh. That. I fell off a train.” Bucky said simply. Sam pushed himself up a little so he could look at Bucky.

“You fell off a train? How’d that happen?” he asked. Bucky smiled at him.

“Me and an old friend were train hopping back in the day. And this guy we barely knew came with us. He was an idiot, a reckless one. And he uh, he dared us to hang onto the side of the train while it was moving. And we were dumb kids, so we did it.” Bucky said with a sour tone in his voice. Sam nodded, telling him to keep going without opening his mouth. 

“Steve, my friend, he made it back inside fine. And so did the idiot. But I uh, I slipped. And I fell. Only I didn’t just fall into a field or grass or dirt. I fell onto a pile of gravel and glass. I landed on my arm. Obviously.” He said, laughing without any humor in it. 

“It was pretty bad. Steve found me and got me to the hospital. I almost lost my arm. I have some nerve damage but nothing too serious.” He said, looking over at Sam. 

“Jesus. I’m sorry that happened.” Sam said, settling back down next to Bucky, laying his head back on Bucky’s shoulder with a sigh. 

“It’s alright. It’s make a good story I guess. And loads of people have had it worse.” He said, his fingers tracing light patterns against Sam’s skin again. Sam nodded once against his shoulder.

“That doesn’t mean that what happened to you wasn’t bad Buck.” Sam whispered and kissed his shoulder when he felt Bucky shiver at the nickname. Bucky stayed quiet. Sam lifted the cloth off his cut again. Only a little blood swelled up this time, he dabbed at it a few more times and then threw the cloth on the floor.

“You should probably wash that.” Sam said quietly, his fingers moving close to the cut but not touching it. 

“You mean cuz you licked it?” Bucky asked with a chuckle.

“Fuck. I did do that didn’t I?” Sam asked. Bucky laughed again and squeezed Sam’s arm.

“You most certainly did. It was awesome.” Bucky said, his voice was slowing down. Sam was pretty sure he was falling asleep. 

“Glad you liked it.” Sam said, moving in Bucky’s grasp a little. Bucky hummed.

“Course I liked it. Like you, don’t I?” he slurred, his head falling onto his shoulder as his eyes fell shut. 

“Yeah. I think you really might.” Sam whispered as he moved out of Bucky’s reach, slowly climbing off the bed. He waited for Bucky to answer but all he got in return was slow breathing. He nodded and smiled sadly at Bucky’s sleeping form in the bed. He grabbed his clothes and got dressed in the living room. Then he left. He made sure the door was locked before he pulled it shut and then he headed down the stairs, wishing he was still in Bucky’s bed with every step he took. 

~***~

Bucky groaned as the sun from his window moved onto his face. He moved his arm to cover his eyes and hissed as pain shot through his chest. He dropped his arm back down and looked at his chest. The bright red line over his heart made him smile. He moved his fingers along it and bit his lip at the pain.

“You really cut me de-“ he cut off, his eyes falling on his empty bed. He moved his hand to that side of the bed and felt cold sheets. He furrowed his brow and climbed out of bed, carefully pulling on a pair of sweats and then walking out of his room. 

“Sam?” he called, looking into the kitchen and finding it empty. He leaned back against the counter, his butt resting against the marble counter top, and shook his head and chuckled to himself. 

He stood there for a long time. Listening to the usual morning silence of his apartment building and finding that this morning he wished it wasn’t so quiet. He sighed to himself and then turned the stove on. He cracked a few eggs into his pan and made breakfast for one.

There was an ache in his chest that had nothing to do with the cut on his skin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's waiting for Sam at the pizza place, he's late, and then some cops show up instead.

He’d been waiting for Sam for three hours. He’d eaten four slices of pizza and three breadsticks and he still hadn’t shown up. He rubbed at the cut on his chest, pressing his fingers in hard every time the little bell above the door rang and Sam wasn’t there. He sighed and pulled his hood up over his head and then rested his head on his arms, closing his eyes as he tried to think about something else. It had been three days. They never went more than three days without seeing each other. Bucky was just starting to think that he’d fucked everything up by fucking Sam, when he heard footsteps walk up to the table. 

“Having second thoughts?” Bucky asked, keeping his head on his arms, his voice tight. 

“Were you expecting someone?” a voice Bucky didn’t know asked. He looked up and found himself looking at two cops. They were in plain clothes, their badges not in sight. But if they weren’t cops Bucky would eat his fucking shoes. 

“Yeah. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Bucky said, trying hard to keep his voice straight. He hated cops. But he wasn’t stupid enough to provoke them, at least not at the moment. 

“Sam Wilson. Is that who you thought we were?” The cop on the left asked, his buzzed cut hair and smug smile making Bucky want to hold him down and cut out his tongue. He clenched his fist under the table and nodded.

“Yep. That’d be him.” Bucky said, smiling back at buzz cut. Buzz cut’s partner cocked his head to the side, his face completely stoic under a head of curly light brown hair. Bucky almost laughed when he thought to himself that this asshole must be bad cop. 

“And what exactly would he be having second thoughts about?” Bad cop asked, his lips curling up on the left and he smirked down at Bucky. He dug his nails into the palm of his hand and leaned back in his chair.

“Fucking me.” Bucky said simply. He saw buzz cut twitch back a little, and bad cop’s smirk was gone.

“Excuse me?” Buzz cut asked. Bucky could see that look in his eyes. That look that people got on their faces when they realized they were talking to someone with an attribute they hated.

“I thought he might be having second thoughts about fucking me. See cuz, it was all quite sudden. And sometimes cute boys like him get a little skittish. Sometimes they just fuck and run, ya know?” Bucky asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking up at Buzz Cut, smirking when he saw the look of disgust on his face.

“You think that’s funny?” he asked, taking a step forward, Bad Cop put his hand on his partners shoulder, holding him back. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was real or for show, but at the moment he didn’t really care. He’d had the shit beat out of him before, he could do it again. 

“I think it’s the answer to the question I was asked.” Bucky said, tilting his head a little. Bad Cop laughed a little and pulled his partner back a step. 

“You think you’re pretty smart don’t ya kid?” Bad Cop asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at Bucky. Bucky furrowed his brow and pretended to think, screwing his face up.

“Mmm…not particularly smart, no. But smart enough to know you can’t just start randomly questioning a guy in a pizza place unless you’ve got a good reason.” Bucky said, moving his hand to the table top and picking at chip on the surface. Buzz Cut snorted and took a few steps forward. 

“And what if we told you we did have a good reason. Huh? What if I told you we picked a piece of your hair off a dead body down by the docks? What would you say to that?” he asked, kicking his shiny shoe into the side of Bucky’s combat boot. Bucky stood up slowly and looked Buzz Cut in the eyes, he saw him swallow hard and move his hand toward the back of his jacket.

“I’d say that you’re lying. Just fishing. Cuz if you had that, you wouldn’t be talking to me. You’d already have me cuffed and in the back of a cruiser.” Bucky said, his voice low as he stared at Buzz Cut. Bad Cop reached between them and pulled his partner back again, his hand on his chest. They stared at him for a long time. Bucky stared back.

“So can I go? Or did you wanna harass me for a little while longer?” Bucky asked with a smile. He had a feeling that if the cops staring him down were gonna describe the smile, they’d call it a shit eating grin. He didn’t give a shit. They stared at him for a few more minutes and then stepped out his way. Bucky nodded and pulled his wallet out of his pocket, he dropped thirty dollars on the table and then headed for the door.

“We’ll be seeing you soon Barnes.” Buzz Cut called after him. Bucky pulled the door open and turned to look at them.

“I look forward to it.” He said, and then gave them the fakest smile he could muster before walking out the door. 

He shoved his hand deep into his pockets, hunched his shoulders over and headed home. His chest was aching and it once again had nothing to do with the cut there. He thought about going to Sam’s, but Buzz Cut and Bad Cop were following him, not at all subtly, so he just went home, it was the safest thing to do. He wasn’t even sure Sam would want to see him, mainly because he left Bucky alone in bed, but also because they apparently had cops after them now. 

He walked to the door of his building and let himself inside, then he stood by the door and watched the cops pass by, he gave them a little wave as they walked past, their eyes widened. He rolled his eyes after they had disappeared into the dark, had they really thought he hadn’t known they were back there. Fucking idiots. He trudged up the stairs, trying to decide if he should hunt down Sam’s phone number once he got inside. Call him, at least try and make sure he was okay. He got to the top of the stairs and dug in his pocket for his keys, he was almost to his door when he looked up and his breath caught in his chest. 

Sam was leaning against his door. His eyes shut, head tilted back, arms crossed over his chest. Bucky’s keys slipped out of his fingers and hit the ground with a small metal jingle. Sam straightened up and turned to him, his arms dropping to his sides. They stared at each other for a minute and then Bucky bent down and picked up his keys. He walked to the door and shoved his key in the lock, Sam moved to the side and out of his way. Bucky turned his key in the locks hard, then opened the door quickly and stepped inside. Sam seemed to catch the annoyed vibe and hung back. Bucky sighed and stepped to the side, his hand still on the door knob. 

“You coming in or not?” he asked, his voice sharp. Sam nodded once and hurried inside. Bucky slammed the door and clicked the locks, then moved past Sam quickly and walked to the kitchen. He shrugged his jacket off on the way and threw it on the couch. He turned and leaned against the counter and watched Sam stand awkwardly near the couch. Bucky watched him stand there looking uncomfortable for a few minutes and then decided he’d suffered enough.

“The cops talk to you?” Bucky asked, crossing his arms. Sam looked up at him.

“Yeah. They stopped me coming out of work, then they followed me home. That’s why I didn’t meet you. I waited for them stop hovering outside my house and then headed to the pizza place and when I got there the cops were talking to you. So I just came here. I didn’t know what else to do. What the fuck do we do Bucky?” he asked, his voice getting a little frantic at the end. 

“Hey. Relax.” Bucky said calmly. Bucky almost laughed at the look Sam gave him, his eyes going wide. 

“Relax? There are cops after us!” he said, his voice a shouting whisper. Bucky did laugh then, just small breath of air. Sam looked at him again, he looked livid, Bucky almost laughed again. 

“Why the fuck are you laughing?” Sam asked, he sounded pissed. Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Sam. We’re serial killers. What did you think was gonna happen? I mean honestly. Did you think we were just gonna keep killing people forever and never get caught? Everyone gets caught Sam. Eventually.” Bucky said, shrugging at Sam. Sam took a few steps forward and Bucky thought for a second that he might have to hit Sam again, but he stopped. He stopped a few feet away and took a deep breath. 

“Fuck.” He breathed. 

“So what do we do?” he asked, taking another step forward. Bucky shrugged.

“Nothing. I mean, there’s nothing we can do really. If they’re gonna catch us they’re gonna catch us. We could stop killing people.” Bucky suggested, and then smiled when he saw the face Sam made. 

“Or not.” Bucky said with a smile. He took a step toward Sam, closing the space between them and taking Sam’s hands in his.

“We’ll just have to be extra careful. Maybe go somewhere far away.” Bucky said quietly, looking at Sam through his lashes. 

“Or we could stop. Just for awhile. Not forever. But for awhile.” Sam said, looking at Bucky seriously and making Bucky’s skin tingle. Bucky nodded slowly. 

“Okay.” He said. Sam’s eyes widened a little. 

“You sure? Can you do that?” Sam asked. Bucky snorted. 

“Yeah Sam, I can do that. I have at least that much self control.” He said with a smile. Sam nodded and then they just looked at each other in the dark of Bucky’s kitchen.

“I have a question Sam.” Bucky said finally, giving Sam’s hands a squeeze before pulling away from him a little. 

“What?” Sam asked, looking at him openly. Bucky bit his lip. 

“Why’d you leave?” he asked, taking a step back. Sam’s mouth dropped open a little.

“Wh- I- what?” he asked. His hands were clenching and unclenching at his sides. 

“The other night. You fucked me. And then you left. And I wanna know why.” Bucky said slowly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the counter again.

“You- the cops just talked to both of us and basically told us they’re watching us, and you wanna know why I left the other night.” Sam said, his voice full of disbelief. 

“Yeah.” Bucky said simply, narrowing his eyes at Sam like he wasn’t sure how he wasn’t understanding. 

“Seriously?” Sam asked. Bucky watched him pull his sleeves down over his hands and realized that he was nervous. He sounded angry, and maybe a little confused, but he was nervous. Bucky stepped forward again, pressing into Sam’s space slowly. 

“I don’t care about the cops Sam. I care about you.” He said quietly, giving Sam a half smile when he snapped his eyes to Bucky’s.

“And I didn’t like waking up alone when I expected to wake up next to you.” Bucky whispered, pressing closer to Sam and brushing their noses together. He heard Sam take a shaky breath and moved his hands slowly to his hips, moving his thumbs gently over Sam’s shirt. 

“Y- you wanted me to stay?” Sam asked, he was whispering now too. Bucky nodded slowly and pressed closer, his forehead resting against Sam’s. 

“Yeah Sam. I wanted you to stay.” He whispered, his lips brushing Sam’s, he felt Sam shiver under his hands and pulled him closer. 

“I wanted to stay.” Sam said, Bucky moved his head and pressed his lips to Sam’s cheek.

“Why didn’t you?” he whispered and kissed down Sam’s neck. He trailed his teeth over Sam’s skin and felt Sam’s hands come up to hold his arms.

“I- I was scared.” Sam whispered, moving his head to the side to give Bucky more access to his neck. Bucky bit down hard, dragging a moan out of him and then licked over the teeth marks.

“What were you scared of Sam?” he asked, kissing back up his neck slowly. 

“Were you scared of me?” he whispered, pulling Sam’s earlobe between his teeth gently and then letting it go as Sam grabbed at him more, pulling him closer. 

“No. Never scared of you.” Sam breathed, pushing Bucky back a few inches to look at him. 

“I’m not scared of you Buck.” Sam said, swallowing hard as he looked at Bucky. Bucky felt a tug under his skin at the nickname. He smiled and pressed forward again, kissing Sam slowly, carefully, like someone might kiss someone for the first time. Sam sighed into it and moved his hands to Bucky’s back, pulling him close again. Bucky moved his lips over Sam’s skin, trailing kisses over his jaw. 

“Tell me what you were afraid of Sam.” He whispered, moving his hands under Sam’s shirt and running his fingers over Sam’s warm skin. 

“You make me feel things.” Sam said quietly, his fingers digging into Bucky’s back when Bucky dipped his fingers into the waistband of Sam’s pants.

“What kind of things?” Bucky whispered, moving back to Sam’s face, pressing his nose into Sam’s cheek. Sam took another shaky breath. 

“I- I don’t know…just…things.” Sam stammered. Bucky heard him gulp and pulled back to look at him. He furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side. Sam watched him with wide eyes. 

“Good things?” Bucky asked, his voice sounding small for probably the first time since he’d met Sam. Sam nodded quickly, pressing his fingers into Bucky’s back again. 

“Yeah. Yes, good things. Very good things. Just…maybe…” he trailed off and grimaced, looking at Bucky uncertainly. Bucky moved his hands to the Sam’s neck, his thumbs brushing gently over his jaw. 

“What Sam? You can tell me. You can tell me anything, it’s okay.” Bucky whispered. Sam nodded again and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Just maybe…too good? I’ve never had anything like this. I don’t deserve-“

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Bucky said quickly, interrupting him before he could finish. Bucky’s heart was pounding in his chest. 

“Sam look at me. Hey, look at me.” Bucky said softly. Sam opened his eyes slowly, there were tears in them and Bucky wanted to find whoever had made him feel like this, like he didn’t deserve to be someone’s everything, and skin them alive. Sam’s throat jumped as he held back his tears. 

“Sam you deserve the goddamn world. You hear me? The world.” Bucky said. Sam rolled his eyes and laughed through his nose, it sounded self deprecating and Bucky hated that sound. 

“Don’t do that. I’m not joking.” Bucky said seriously, giving Sam’s neck a squeeze. Sam’s face softened as he looked at Bucky. 

“Sam listen to me okay?” Bucky asked, moving one hand to wipe at the tears falling down Sam’s face. Sam nodded and bit his trembling lip. 

“I wanted you to stay, because I care about you. I care about you so goddamn much. I-“ he stopped, his mouth dropping open as the realization hit him square in the chest. He stared at Sam for a moment, breathing heavily. 

“What? You what Buck?” Sam asked, his voice quiet as he leaned toward Bucky a little. Bucky closed his mouth and took a deep breath. He opened his mouth again and then bit his lip. 

“Bucky…what?” he asked, he sounded worried now.

“I- I love you Sam.” Bucky breathed. And just saying it out loud felt perfect, it felt right. Sam let out a breath that ghosted across Bucky’s skin, making him shiver. 

“I- you…you love me?” Sam asked, he was breathing heavily now too, his fingers were digging into Bucky’s hips hard. Bucky bit his lip to stop himself from squirming under the rough touch. 

“Yeah. I do.” Bucky said with a smile.

“And it’s okay if…if you don’t love me back. I just- I just sort of....realized…just now, I think.” Bucky said, his brow furrowing as his brain flashed images of everything he and Sam had done together through his head. 

“It’s okay if I don’t love you back.” Sam repeated slowly. Bucky nodded quickly.

“Would it be okay if I did?” Sam asked with a shrug, laughing a small laugh through his nose. Bucky felt like his knees were about to buckle, he moved his hands down to Sam’s shoulders, grounding himself. 

“God yes.” Bucky breathed and pulled Sam close, kissing him deeply. Sam kissed him back until they were a panting mess in the middle of the kitchen. Bucky’s shirt had disappeared at some point and Sam’s pants hand been unbuckled and pushed down a few inches. Bucky pulled back and dropped his head on Sam’s shoulder, Sam ran his hands up and down Bucky’s back, making him shiver. 

“Will you stay tonight?” Bucky asked, his voice quiet as he spoke into Sam’s shirt. 

“Yeah. I’ll stay.” Sam whispered, trailing his nails down Bucky’s spine, making him press closer to Sam. 

“Good.” He said simply and grabbed Sam’s hand. He pulled him to the bedroom and pulled Sam’s shirt off. Then they both kicked of their shoes and shoved their pants off. Sam went to push his underwear down too and Bucky grabbed his wrist. 

“Wait. You don’t have to do that. I mean you can if you want but that’s not… that’s not what I wanted…tonight.” Bucky said hesitantly. Sam looked at him for a long time and then smiled. 

“You don’t want sex?” He asked. 

“I mean... it’s not what I was going for. If you want sex we can. I just…I don’t want you to think I only want you for sex Sam.” Bucky said slowly, grimacing at all his stammering. Sam nodded.

“I’m good with no sex. No sex is good too.” Sam said with another smile and grabbed Bucky’s arm, pulling him close. Bucky left out a little breath as their chests collided. 

“Hey.” Sam said, his lips curving a little. 

“Hey yourself.” Bucky said with a smirk, darting forward and pressing his lips to Sam’s quickly. Sam laughed and then shoved him backwards onto the bed. Bucky grunted when Sam jumped on top of him. He rolled over and pinned Sam to the bed, his hands wrapped around Sam’s wrists as he pressed them into the mattress. Sam smiled up and him, they were both panting. 

“I thought you said no sex.” Sam said with a smirk. 

“Oh Sam, this isn’t sex.” Bucky said, lowering his head and biting at Sam’s chest. Sam squirmed underneath him and Bucky moved to look at him again.

“Really? You sure about that?” Sam asked, sounding skeptical. Bucky nodded at him.

“Oh yeah. If this is anything, it’s foreplay.” Bucky said, smirking and then leaning back down again, pressing his lips to Sam’s gently, both of them smiling. He moved his hands down Sam’s arms and then down his sides and then rolled off of him to lie next to him. He sighed and turned his head to the left to look at Sam. Sam was looking back at him with a dopey smile. They stared at each for a long time.

“I love you.” Sam said, breaking the silence. Bucky closed his eyes and smiled, pulling his lip between his teeth.

“I love you too.” He said, opening his eyes and looking at Sam again. 

“They’re gonna catch us aren’t they?” Sam asked, his brow furrowed as he looked at Bucky.

“Yeah. I think they are.” He said, giving Sam a sad smile. Sam nodded and looked at the ceiling, moving one hand under his head and the other down next to his side. 

“But hey,” Bucky said, rolling onto his side and reaching out to turn Sam’s head back towards him. 

“They don’t have us yet.” He finished. Sam smiled and Bucky pressed forward and kissed him again, pulling Sam’s lip between his teeth before rolling onto his back again, looking at the ceiling. 

“We’ll stick together though right? No matter what happens?” Sam asked. Bucky could hear him worrying again. He moved his hand to brush against Sam’s and then laced their fingers together. 

“Of course.” He said, squeezing Sam’s hand. 

“Promise?” Sam asked. Bucky looked at him, Sam was looking at him with wide eyes, his lip pulled between his teeth, hope in his eyes, and Bucky wanted to keep him forever. 

“Promise.” He said, waiting for Sam to look away before he looked back to the ceiling. He closed his eyes and listened to Sam’s breathing next to him. He moved his thumb over Sam’s hand slowly and swore to any gods that might listening, that if anyone ever hurt Sam, Bucky would ruin them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry there's no sex! there will be next chapter! i just needed to get the cops being after them in here, and it wouldn't fit in the other chapter i have planned so i added a chapter! we're almost at the end guys!!! one more chapter and then an epilogue!!! its insane that i'm actually keeping up with this. i feel good about it! and thank you all so much for reading and liking and commenting! you keep me going! I love you guys! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has a run in with the cops, and then he hobbles home and he and Sam make some plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there's a homophobic slur in this chapter. one of the cops says it. so beware of that my darlings! <3

They’d been “clean” for four months. The first month had been difficult. Sam had shown up at Bucky’s door in the middle of the night more than once, shaking, needing. Bucky had pulled him inside each time and pressed him hard into his mattress, taking what he wanted from Sam, giving Sam what he needed. He’d let Sam cut him every time, begged him too. His body was littered with healing cuts now, none of them as deep as that first one, but still good. 

Sometimes he begged Sam to fuck him. He liked the way it made Sam nervous, made him shivery. Sam liked to be fucked. Bucky had found that out pretty fast, but he was so goddamn good at fucking Bucky too, better than he thought he was. And sometimes Bucky needed that. Sam was always hesitant at first, until Bucky pressed a sharp knife into Sam’s hand, then things fell into place fast and Sam relaxed into it, fucking Bucky hard like he liked until they were both a panting mess on the bed. 

After the withdrawals were quelled things calmed down a bit. They were both still on edge. The cops were still following them around like needy puppies. Sam stayed at Bucky’s some nights, and sometimes they stayed at Sam’s. Bucky didn’t really care where they stayed as long as they were together. And they were happy, falling into bed after work each night, talking about nothing, about everything. Bucky could always tell when Sam was there before him, it always smelled good. Like food cooking. Sam was always cooking something. Bucky wasn’t sure it that was just his natural state or if he had latched onto it to keep his mind occupied. He didn’t mind it either way, Sam was a fabulous cook.   
They went on like that for almost four months. And then Bucky came home covered in blood. And things kind of fell apart fast after that. 

He’d been walking home from work, feeling ridiculously domestic after sending Sam a text asking what was for dinner, and receiving, not a sexual innuendo, but a stupid fucking smiley face and a taunt that he had to wait and see. Bucky smiled at his phone and began typing a reply when the fist hit him. It slammed into his mouth and he dropped his phone. He heard it hit the ground and then he was pulled sideways, a hand grabbing the front of his jacket and shoving him against the bricks of a building. 

“Evening Barnes. Hope we aren’t interrupting anything important.” Buzz Cut said, pressing Bucky into the wall hard, bruising his shoulder blades. Bucky licked his lip and tasted blood, his lip stinging where the skin had split.

“Nope. Not interrupting. In fact this is exactly how I was hoping my night would go.” Bucky said, sarcasm dripping from his words like venom. 

“Oh well good. I’m glad we can help make your dreams come true.” Buzz Cut said, pressing closer. 

“Aww, baby. Don’t think for one second that you have anything to with my dreams.” Bucky said, tilting his head and glaring at the guy. He knew as soon as he’d said that he shouldn’t have. If he was being honest he’d known before he’d said it. But his lip was bleeding and he hadn’t killed anyone in four fucking months, so he was a little on edge.

“What the fuck did you just call me you little faggot?” Buzz cut nearly screamed at him before punching him again, three times, once in the face, and twice in the stomach. Bucky sucked in air as Bad Cop pulled his partner back a little. 

“Hey now, don’t go too hard until we tell him what we came here to tell him man.” Bad Cop said, his hand on Buzz Cuts shoulder. Bad Cop reached out and pushed Bucky back against the wall, straightening him up from where he’d bent forward. 

“You listenin you piece a shit?” Bad Cop asked, smacking at the side Bucky’s face a few times, apparently trying to get him to focus. Bucky was already focused, he’d been focused just fine since the moment his own blood had touched his tongue. 

“Loud and clear.” Bucky said and spat some blood onto the ground next to Buzz Cuts shiny shoe. He pulled him forward and slammed him into the wall again. 

“Good. Cuz we got somethin to say.” Buzz Cut said, smirking as he dug his fingers into Bucky’s skin, Bucky forced himself not squirm at the pain. 

“I gathered that.” Bucky said dryly, dropping his head back against the wall. He just wanted them to fucking say what they had to say, beat the shit out of him like he knew they were going to, and then leave. He had a dinner at home that he didn’t wanna be late for. 

“Smart ass.” Buzz Cut growled and smacked Bucky across the face. Bucky just laughed and licked at his bloody lip again. 

“You listen here asshole. We’re gonna get you. We’re gonna nail you so hard you won’t know what fucking day it is.” Buzz Cut said, Bucky snorted. 

“Sounds like my last Friday night.” He said with a smile and then flinched when Buzz Cut pulled his hand back again. Bad Cop caught his wrist and stopped him. 

“You can joke all you like, but you’re gonna be in prison for the rest of your goddamn life.” Bad Cop said, letting go of Buzz Cuts wrist so he could move his hand back to Bucky’s jacket. Bucky sighed.

“I look forward to it. Can I go n-“

“Or maybe…” Buzz Cut started, cutting Bucky off and tightening his grip on Bucky. 

“Maybe we’ll just kill you right here. Say that you came at us, tried to kill us because we were getting too close to catching you. Who do think they’d believe? A murdering p.o.s. or two homicide detectives?” Buzz Cut said, smirking at Bucky. 

“Well, I watch the news, so I really have no doubt that they’ll believe the dirty cops.” Bucky said, tilting his head and smiling at Buzz Cut. He was shoved against the wall hard again, his head slamming into the bricks this time too. 

“You better watch your fucking mouth.” Bad Cop said. Bucky blinked hard and let his head fall to the side to look at Bad Cop. 

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Bucky asked, his voice full of fake apprehension.

“Because. It ain’t just you we want. And we know exactly where to find that freaky boyfriend of yours. He’s at your place right now ain’t he? Makin you dinner like a good little wife.” Bad Cop sneered. Bucky’s chest filled with heat, his vision went red around the edges like burning embers and he shoved forward. Buzz Cut stumbled backwards just enough for Bucky to land a solid punch on him. Then he was being shoved to the ground by Bad Cop. 

He lost track of how many time they hit him. They kicked and punched him for what felt like hours. After the three or four kicks to his stomach Bucky pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around his head and just held on, waiting for it to stop. He grunted when he felt a foot hit the back of his head and then his back. Then the blows stopped coming. 

“Hope you learned your lesson you fuck. If not, we’ll be back. And we’ll come for your boy next time too.” Buzz Cut’s snide voice said, he sounded far away. Bucky heard him spit and felt wetness on his neck. He waited for the sound of their footsteps to disappear before he uncurled with a groan and wiped at his neck with his sleeve briskly, his face twisted in disgust. 

“Fucking try it.” Bucky muttered to himself before gritting his teeth and pushing himself up off the ground. His head was swimming, the ground looked like water, the sidewalk seemingly rocking back and forth in little waves where it had been solid before. Bucky reached out and braced himself on the wall next to him. His stomach and back were aching, there was a sharp pain in his head and his lip and nose were dripping blood down his chin. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his chest feeling like it was full of glass when he did. He coughed out the breath and opened his eyes, then stumbled forward and bent down to pick up his phone. He turned it over in his hand to find the screen cracked and six messages from Sam. He moved his finger across the screen and got no response. He sighed and shoved the dead phone into his pocket, then headed home, his feet dragging over the sidewalk slowly as he limped through darkness and circles of streetlamp light.   
He closed his eyes once or twice and then somehow ended up at his own front door. He managed to dig his keys out and get the door open, slipping inside and closing the door quietly behind him. He walked silently to the kitchen doorway to see Sam leaning over the counter, his head in his hands, his silent phone sitting next to him. Bucky looked at his back for a moment, just taking him in. 

“Sorry I’m late.” Bucky said, his voice sounding nasally because his nose was full of blood. Sam spun around quickly and then gasped. He stared at Bucky with a look of horror on his face and then rushed forward. 

“Oh my god Buck what happened to you?” he asked, stopping before he touched Bucky. Bucky had never been more grateful for Sam’s awareness of him. Bucky reached out slowly and Sam took his hand in both of his, holding him up a little, his fingers wrapping gently around Bucky’s forearm. 

“Ran into the friendly neighborhood homicide detectives.” Bucky said, giving Sam a strained smile. Sam slowly started walking Bucky toward the bedroom. 

“Turns out, they’re not so friendly.” Bucky said, grimacing as Sam helped him out of his jacket. Sam shook his head. 

“Jesus Buck. They could’ve killed you.” Sam whispered, grimacing right alongside Bucky as he peeled Bucky’s shirt off and saw the bruises already starting to form on his skin.

“That bad huh?” Bucky asked, looking up at Sam’s pained face as he lowered his arms and watched Sam drop his shirt on the ground. Sam bit his lip and nodded. 

“It’s pretty bad yeah. Should- should I take you to the hospital Buck?” he asked, his voice was shaking, and so were his hands and he fumbled with Bucky’s belt buckle. Bucky dropped his hands to cover Sam’s.

“No. No hospitals. I’ll be fine. I just need to lie down.” Bucky said, trying to smile at Sam and then hissing as his lip split open again. Sam sighed and then pulled Bucky’s shoes and pants off, then helped him to the bed. 

“You stay there. I’ll be right back. Do not fall asleep.” Sam said, pointing at Bucky as he walked into the bathroom and then came back seconds later with a washcloth. He crawled onto the bed and shoved another pillow behind Bucky’s back, grimacing again when he saw the bruises littered there as well. 

“Christ.” He breathed, and then started whipping at Bucky’s face gently. Bucky closed his eyes slowly and then looked back up at Sam, there were tears in his eyes.

“I’m okay Sam.” He said. Sam shook his head and swallowed hard. 

“Yes. I am. I’ve had worse.” he said, trying to laugh out his nose and spraying small droplet of blood down his chest. Sam’s face twisted in pain again as he stared at the little red drops shining against Bucky’s skin. Bucky raised his hand to Sam’s cheek, hiding the grimace of pain that threatened when he raised his arm. 

“Hey. I’m okay. It’s just a little blood and some bruises. I’m gonna be fine. And I can’t wait to eat whatever it is that smells so good.” He said, moving his thumb gently over Sam’s bottom lip as Sam rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“You actually expect me to believe you can smell a damn thing right now? With a nose full of blood?” Sam asked, as he whipped the blood from Bucky’s chest and then went back to cleaning his face. Bucky shrugged.

“It was worth a shot right? And it made you smile.” Bucky said, letting his head fall to the side against the headboard as he looked at Sam. His eyes felt heavy. 

“Well I guess that’s all that matters huh?” Sam asked, dragging the washcloth slowly over Bucky’s chin. 

“I should probably eat.” Bucky mumbled as Sam held his head still. 

“I haven’t gotten all the blood off yet.” Sam said dismissively as he kept wiping at Bucky’s skin gently.

“Sam. If I don’t eat I’m gonna fall asleep.” Bucky said seriously, moving his hand to Sam’s wrist. Sam stopped and looked at him, he looked like he was arguing with himself.

“Hey, I’ll get myself cleaned up if you go get me plate of food? Deal?” Bucky asked, giving Sam’s wrist a squeeze. Sam pulled his lip between his teeth, thinking for a moment, and then nodded and handed the washcloth to Bucky. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss into Bucky’s hair and then hopped off the bed and walked out of the room quickly. Bucky leaned back and took a deep breath, grimacing at the pain rushing though his body. 

He took a few more deep breaths and then started wiping at his face. He moved it around his chin until the cloth came back relatively clean. Then he realized that his nose hadn’t stopped bleeding yet. He groaned and then pushed himself sideways a little and grabbed the box of tissues on his bedside table, he twisted a few of them up and shoved them up his nose. He sighed and rested his head against the headboard again, bringing the washcloth up to press on the split in his lip. His eyes fell closed and then snapped open when Sam walked back into the room holding two plates. 

“You better not have just been sleeping.” He said, sounding like a scolding mother.

“I was just resting my eyes.” Bucky said with a small smile as Sam wiggled onto the bed carefully and handing Bucky a plate. Then he set his own plate on his lap and handed Bucky a water bottle that he’d had tucked in the crook of his arm. 

“Thank you.” Bucky said quietly as he took a huge gulp. He tucked the water bottle between his legs, shivering at the cold on his thighs and then he held his plate up to his face.

“So what are we eating tonight?” he asked, looking at the food on his plate. Sam smiled. 

“It’s stuffed chicken alfredo.” Sam said, taking a bite and looking at Bucky. Bucky nodded slowly. Sam laughed. 

“The pasta is inside the chicken. I added broccoli too, just cuz I like it that way.” Sam said with a shrug, Bucky smiled at him and lowered the plate again. He picked up his knife and fork and moved to start cutting and then he hissed though his teeth as pain shot through his chest. 

“Stop stop stop. I’ll do it.” Sam said in a rush, pushing Bucky’s hands away as he tried to fight to keep the plate. He sighed and leaned back, watching Sam cut his food for him. 

“I feel like a fucking child.” Bucky muttered, his fingers picking at the bed sheets. 

“You’re not a child. You just had the shit kicked out of you by two asshole cops. The least I can do is cut your food. Here.” Sam said, handing Bucky’s plate back to him. Bucky took it and then shoveled a big bite into his mouth. He could see Sam trying to hide his interest next to him, he was chewing his own bite slowly and waiting to hear if Bucky liked it. Bucky always liked it. Bucky chewed carefully, minding his lip and then swallowed.

“Aaand…I can’t taste anything.” Bucky said, sounding defeated. 

“Fuck this.” He said, frustrated, and pulled the tissues out of his nose. He shoved another bite in his mouth and then tilted his head back to chew it. He made a yummy sound and then swallowed awkwardly before looking sideways at Sam, his head still tilted back.

“It’s delicious. As always.” Bucky said, smiling when Sam smiled shyly into his own plate and took a small bite. 

“Buck, you’re bleeding again.” Sam said sounding amused. 

“Well fuck.” Bucky said, grabbing the tissue box again and shoving more up his nose. 

“There. We should really buy some tampons. They work wonderfully for nose bleeds.” Bucky said, taking another bite and chewing with a sigh.

“I’ve heard that. I’ll put them on the list.” Sam said with a nod. 

“We have a list?” Bucky asked around a mouthful of food. Sam nodded again. 

“Sure we do. Tampons, toilet paper, beer, killing the cops that did this to, ya know, a list.” Sam said nonchalantly. Bucky stopped mid chew and looked at him, his mouth hanging open. 

“Close your mouth Bucky I don’t need to see that.” Sam said, pressing two fingers to the underside of Bucky’s chin and closing his mouth. Bucky shook his head a little and then swallowed. 

“Sam.” He said. Sam looked at him.

“We’d go to jail for sure for that. They will catch us.” Bucky said, sitting his plate in his lap. 

“I know. But, I think they’re gonna catch us anyway. And…” he trailed off, looking away from Bucky. 

“What?” Bucky asked, moving his hand to press the backs of his fingers to Sam’s thigh. Sam looked back to him. 

“And I want revenge more than I want freedom.” Sam said, his eyes were shining and it made Bucky’s skin tingle. 

“Sam, if I could I jump you right now I would. But I think that would hurt a lot. I’d be more than willing to give you a blow job if you want one.” Bucky said, smirking when Sam burst out laughing next to him.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing I’m completely serious.” Bucky said, biting his lip gently to hold in his laughter. Sam held up his hand and pulled himself together. 

“Sorry. It just…tickled me.” Sam said with a smirk and then looked at Bucky seriously. 

“Are we gonna do this?” Sam asked, setting his plate on the bedside table. 

“I’m good with it. As long as you are. Prison is kind of a big deal. So just…be sure.” Bucky said, inclining his head to Sam. Sam leaned back again and sighed, staring at the ceiling for a minute. 

“I wanna kill them Buck.” He said finally, looking at Bucky again. Bucky nodded. 

“Then let’s kill them.” He said with a smile. Sam smiled back and then rested his head back again. They sat in silence for a long time. The only small sound was Bucky moving his own plate onto his bedside table and taking the tissues out of his nose carefully. Then he moved his hand to Sam’s thigh, he moved his hand slowly between Sam’s legs and up toward his cock. He heard Sam breath in sharply and smirked. 

“I was serious about the blow job by the way.” He said, turning his head to look at Sam, Sam moved his head to look back, his lip was pulled between his teeth. Bucky squeezed Sam’s leg and then moved his hand back further, pressing his wrist against Sam’s hardening cock. Sam’s mouth dropped open. 

“I can see that.” He said, his voice strained. Bucky smiled at him and wiggled his eyebrows as he licked his lip. Sam’s eyes tracked the movement. 

“How would that even work Buck, you can barely move. How are you gonna blow me if you moving hurts?” Sam asked, his voice shaking when Bucky moved his hand again. 

“Well see, I was thinking it would be more of a face fucking opportunity. Ya know? That way I get to have fun but also don’t have to move much.” Bucky said, shrugging and moving to palm Sam’s dick. Sam’s hips jerks up into this hand, Bucky smirked again. 

“So what I’m getting is you really want my cock in your mouth tonight huh?” Sam asked, moving his hand to Bucky’s wrist and pushing his hand down harder on himself. 

“Aww Sam,” Bucky said, his voice soft.

“I always want your cock in my mouth.” He said, wrapping his fingers around Sam and squeezing. Sam moaned and squirming under Bucky’s touch. 

“Fuck. Okay.” Sam groaned, shoving Bucky’s hand away and moving quickly into Bucky’s lap. Bucky smiled up at him and moved his hands to Sam’s hips. 

“What if I hurt you?” Sam asked, looking down at Bucky with concern on his face. Bucky moved his hand up under Sam’s shirt and then pulled it over his head. 

“You know I like pain Sam. So if you hurt me, even better.” Bucky said, undoing Sam’s pants and yanking them down under his butt, Sam sitting up on his knees to let him pull them down further. Bucky pulled him forward by the hips and pressed his face to Sam’s underwear covered cock. Sam gasped and dropped his hands to Bucky’s hair. Bucky brushed his lips over Sam’s length and hissed as the split in his lip hit the fabric. Sam pulled back from him, earning him a growl from Bucky. 

“What about your lip?” Sam asked, fingers massaging at Bucky’s scalp. Bucky slipped his fingers under the waist band of Sam’s boxers and pulled them down, licking his lips as he looked at Sam’s cock.

“It’s gonna bleed. And it’s gonna hurt.” Bucky said, trailing his finger tips up the underside of Sam’s cock, making him shiver. Sam grabbed Bucky’s hair and pulled his head back so he was looking up at him. 

“And you’re gonna like it.” Sam said, Bucky nodded, his mouth hanging open a little, his teeth peeking out from under his top lip.

“I’m gonna like it.” He said, nodding as much as he could with Sam holding his head in place. 

“Fuck.” Sam breathed, looking at down at Bucky. 

“That’s what I’m waiting for.” Bucky said, smiling as Sam moved his hand from Bucky’s hair to his neck.

“You talk too much.” Sam said, brushed his fingers against Bucky’s lips. 

“Well you’ve got a very good way to shut me up Sam. If only you’d use it.” He said, running his tongue over his lip and pressing it against Sam’s fingers. Sam licked his own lips and then pushed his fingers into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky’s eyes fell shut and he moaned around them, sucking and licking at them until Sam pulled them back out. Bucky whined and tried to chase them. Sam pushed him back gently and then wrapped his hand around his cock and pressed the head to Bucky’s lips.

“Open your eyes Buck. Want you to look at me.” Sam said, his chest rising and falling quickly. Bucky looked up at him and opened his mouth. Sam groaned and pushed forward, pressing himself into Bucky mouth slowly. Bucky moaned when Sam’s cock hit the back of his throat and then he swallowed him down more, breathing carefully through his nose as Sam’s cock slid down his throat. 

Sam pressed forward unit Bucky’s nose was flush against his skin and then he pulled back slowly. Bucky moved his hands to Sam’s hips, for something to hold onto, something to ground him. Sam’s hand was back in Bucky’s hair and he tugged and pulled back slowly only to press back in hard. Bucky opened himself up and let Sam fuck him. Sam slammed into him and felt the cut on his lip open again, he moaned and dug his fingers into Sam’s hips. Sam had his eyes closed now, his teeth biting hard into his lip as he fucked into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky’s eyes were glued to him. He couldn’t look away, didn’t want too. He was so goddamn beautiful when he was fucking Bucky. 

Sam’s hand pulled in Bucky’s hair, hard, dragging a moan from Bucky. Sam pulled back and looked down at Bucky. He wrapped his hand around his cock and moved the head over Bucky’s swollen lips, leaving cum and spit in its wake. Then he pushed back in. Bucky squeezed his eyes shut tight and moaned again, the taste of his own blood mixed with Sam’s cum was overwhelming. Sam moved his hand to the side of Bucky’s face and pushed into his mouth again, slowly, pressing all the way into him and then shuttering under Bucky’s hands, coming down his throat. Bucky swallowed greedily, he wanted it all, wanted everything Sam would give him. 

Sam pulled out and looked down at him. He brushed his thumb gently over Bucky’s cheek as he looked up at Sam. There was cum dripping down Bucky’s chin, Sam moved his fingers through it and then pushed them into Bucky’s mouth again. Bucky sucked them clean. 

“Fuck. You’re so fucking greedy for it. You know that?” Sam breathed, Bucky nodded, Sam’s fingers still in his mouth. Sam smiled down at him and pulled his fingers back before sinking down into Bucky’s lap. Bucky moaned as Sam rubbed his softening cock against Bucky’s hard one. Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him closer, pain shot through his stomach and back and he moaned into Sam’s shoulder. Sam pulled Bucky close, still grinding against him, his hand going to Bucky’s hair again. He brushed his lips against Bucky’s ear. 

“Come for me Buck. Be a good boy.” Sam whispered, grinding down hard and fast. Bucky’s fingers dug into Sam’s back as he pulled him closer still, his teeth bit into Sam’s shoulder so he wouldn’t scream as he came, shaking in Sam’s arms. They fell back against the headboard, breathing heavily. 

“Fuck Sam.” Bucky breathed into Sam’s skin. Sam nodded against Bucky’s shoulder and then rolled off him. Shoving his pants and underwear the rest of the way off before reaching over and pulling Bucky’s cum soaked underwear off as well. Bucky grunted and let Sam wipe them both up. Then Sam disappeared, apparently to clean up their dishes. He climbed back into bed a few minutes later and helped Bucky lay down flat in the bed, then pulled the covers up over both of them and turned out the light. 

Bucky was lying on is back, his head turned toward Sam. Sam was on his side facing Bucky, his fingers tracing patterns along Bucky’s skin. 

“I really wish I could I fucking move closer to you right now.” Bucky said, Sam smiled a soft smile and kept moving his fingers. 

“Aww, you wanna cuddle?” Sam teased, dragging his nails down Bucky’s arms. 

“I wouldn’t be against it.” Bucky said flatly, moving his hand out from under the covers to brush his knuckles along Sam’s arm. Sam smiled again and scooted closer, moving his hand slowly over Bucky’s chest, his fingers lingering on the small cuts he’d made over the past few months, and then draping his arm across him. 

“Let me know if I hurt you… in a way you don’t like.” Sam said, adding the second bit after a moment’s hesitation. Bucky laughed through his nose and brought his hand up to Sam’s arm, now moving his fingers over Sam’s skin. 

“I will.” Bucky said with a smile, his eyes falling closed slowly. He felt Sam lean closer and then felt his lips press into his cheek. Bucky hummed and pulled Sam’s hand up to his lips, kissing it gently and then placing it back onto his chest. 

“So now what?” Sam asked quietly. Bucky opened his eyes and looked at him. 

“Now I get healed up. And then we set us a good old fashioned trap.” Bucky said, smiling at Sam in the dark. 

“A cop trap?” Sam asked, his eyes shining again. 

“Oh yes. The best kind.” Bucky said, pushing through the pain to lean forward and give Sam a kiss. Just a gentle press of lips, Sam moved his hand up to Bucky’s neck and pulled him close for a second before letting him go again and moving his hand back to his chest. 

Bucky lay awake in the dark as he listened to Sam drift off to sleep. And when he finally fell into sleep himself, his dreams were full of plots, and blood, and revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, this is not AT ALL how i saw this chapter going, and since that's a thing that happened, there will be, at least, one more chapter and then an epilogue. i say at least, because this was supposed to be the chapter before the epilogue and then these assholes just had to get frisky. So yeah, we're nearly at the end...i think. thanks for reading guys! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Bucky get revenge on the cops that attacked Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: there is a homophobic slur in this chapter! one of the cops says it. so beware of that my darlings. Safe reading to you!

It took a few months for Bucky to heal up properly. Sam had prodded his ribs the day after the beating and told him he probably had at least three fractured ribs. Bucky had thought that sounded about right, felt about right too. He’d waited three weeks before actually starting to move around a lot. And he only waited that long because Sam insisted, and he apparently couldn’t say no to him. Once he was up moving around again Sam told him he needed to teach him something. Bucky had been intrigued.

The next day Sam started teaching him how to disarm someone with a gun. How to do it properly, the way they’d taught Sam in the army. Bucky picked it up like he’d been doing it his whole life, he disarmed Sam the last time and wrestled him to the kitchen floor with a thud. He smirked down at Sam and Sam rolled his eyes. Bucky pulled him to his feet and fucked him against the kitchen counter, Sam gasping his name and then laughing into his shoulder when they were finished.

They spent the next month and half planning. They planned everything out, where, when, how. They even had four back up plans in case things went sideways, or just not as planned. And once they felt good, felt comfortable. Bucky waited for Sam to get home from work and they headed out into the night, smirking to each other as their faithful little watch dogs followed them into the dark.

“You think they know how terrible they are this?” Sam asked, leaning close to Bucky as they walked down the dark sidewalk. They’d been following some guy they’d seen come up out of the subway. They’d made a big deal about pointing at him and everything, making sure their friends got the idea.

“I doubt it.” Bucky said, smirking at Sam and then looking forward again. They closed the space between them and the man in front of them. Bucky grabbed him around the neck and pulled him into the ally, both he and Sam staying behind him. He squeezed until the guy passed out and then set him on the ground.

He and Sam went to the mouth of the ally and pressed their backs against the wall, they heard the detectives running toward them. Bucky looked to Sam and waited for his signal. The footsteps got quieter as they came closer, Bucky clenched his fists and took a deep breath. Sam nodded at him a second before they came around the corner. Bucky and Sam pounced on them, Bucky grabbing one and Sam the other. They had them disarmed and on their knees in seconds, Sam and Bucky pointing their own guns at them.

“Well that was way easier than I thought it was gonna be.” Sam said.

“Yeah. I know what you mean. I’m actually a little disappointed.” Bucky said, frowning down at Buzz Cut. He and Bad Cop were glaring up at them.

“Aw, they seem angry.” Sam said mockingly. Bucky snorted.

“They do, don’t they?” Bucky said with a fake smile.

“Don’t worry guys, you won’t be angry for much longer.” Bucky said, then he and Sam raised their guns and brought them down on the detectives heads. Bucky’s smile faded into a real one as he watched both men slump to the ground. He looked to Sam and saw him smiling too.

“Let’s get these asshole’s somewhere more private shall we?” Bucky asked. Sam nodded and they both moved and grabbed the men’s ankles. They threw them in the car they’d parked in front of the alley and drove. They drove for almost an hour, until they made it to the warehouse they’d picked out. There were quite a few empty ones down by the docks so Sam and Bucky had had their pick. They got the men tied to the chairs they’d brought there a few days before and then they waited.

“Maybe we hit them too hard.” Sam said after they’d been waiting for around ten minutes. Bucky nodded slowly.

“Or maybe they’re playing dead.” He suggested, kicking his boot gently against Sam’s shoe.

“Naw, they aren’t good enough at their jobs to do that.” Sam said, sounding a little sad. Bucky snorted.

“That’s true. I’ve got an idea. But Buzz Cut isn’t going to like it. Not at all.” Bucky said slowly, turning to look at Sam with a small smile.

“I love it already.” He said and held his hand out to the side, giving Bucky the go ahead. Bucky winked at him and then walked forward. He stood in front of Buzz Cut, who was slumped in his chair and looked down at him. He pushed his head back gently and then straddled him swiftly.

“Hey.” He tapped his cheek lightly.

“Rise and shine detective Loomis, the night ain’t over yet.” He said quietly, then slapped his face hard. The man groaned and stirred. He looked around at the warehouse and then he looked up at Bucky, once his eyes focused he started struggling against the ropes and tape.

“You fucking piece of sh-“

“Shhhhh shh shh shh.” Bucky hushed him, slamming his hand over his mouth and shaking his head.

“No name calling. That’s just rude.” Bucky said, smiling down at the man.

“Sam, is his buddy awake yet?” Bucky called over his shoulder.

“He’s comin around right now.” Sam said. Bucky heard a small smacking noise, he tried not to squirm on detective Loomis’s lap as the mental image of Sam slapping the guy filled his head.

“Heeey there. You’re awake. Just in time. You almost missed the party.” Sam’s voice said behind Bucky. He wiggled his eyebrows as he looked down at the detective beneath him.

“Mmm…wha party?” the other detective moaned.

“This one.” Bucky said, taking a knife from his pocket and shoving it deep into detective Loomis’s shoulder. He stood up off the man’s lap as he screamed and went to stand next to Sam.

“You motherfuckers, I swear to god I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Sam spat at him, leaning closer as the main strained against his restraints while his partner kept screaming.

“You’ll what huh? Corner one of us and kick them until they have three broken ribs and split lip? Cuz if I recall, you’ve already done that.” Sam said, his voice full of venom as he pressed even closer, bringing a knife of his own from behind his back and pressing it into the detective’s thigh, the tip breaking the skin as he pressed down. The detective bit his lip and stared Sam down. Sam cocked his head and spun his hand on the knife, bringing his palm up to rest on the handle. He smiled at the man and then shoved it down, deep into the meat of his leg, his smile widening as the man’s screams filled the empty warehouse.

“Fuck Sam.” Bucky breathed. Sam turned to look at him and Bucky almost laughed at how innocent his face was in that moment.

“What?” Sam asked, pushing the knife down harder for a second and then taking a few steps away as the detective tried to calm down. Bucky walked toward him.

“Nothin, I just… I forgot how fucking good you look when you’re playing with someone.” Bucky breathed, biting his lip as he looked at Sam. Sam rolled his eyes and reached out to Bucky, pushing his fingers into his waistband and pulling him close.

“Thought you said I look good all the time.” Sam said quietly, Bucky smirked at him.

“Oh you do. But there’s just something about you when you’ve got a knife in your hand. You get this look in your eye. There’s nothing quite like it.” Bucky breathed and then crashed their mouths together. Sam moaned into the kiss when Bucky shoved his tongue into his mouth.

“Fuckin disgusting.”

Bucky broke the kiss and turned to look at detective Loomis. He felt Sam shiver against him and then pulled away from him slowly, his hand trailing over Sam’s abs as he walked away.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Bucky asked, sliding another knife out his pocket and flipping it open as he stalked toward the man. He saw him gulp.

“You heard me. You’re fucking disgusting. You and your little bitch.” He spat, nodding to Sam as he glared up at Bucky. Bucky laughed through his nose, widened his eyes and gave him a little nod.

“Yeah? Wow. That’s insightful. Let me ask you a question Detective Loomis, how do you think your wife would feel about you being a homophobe? I mean, her brother’s gay right? And from what I could tell they have a very nice relationship with each other. Does she know that you hate him?” Bucky asked, pressing forward and smiling when the man’s eyes went wide.

“You stay away from my wife you little faggot!” he screamed, his face going red. Bucky shrugged and leaned closer.

“I have no intention of going near her. As far as I’m concerned, she’ll be better off without you.” He whispered, moving his knife slowly up the detectives stomach, he pressed it hard between two of his ribs and then paused.

“Have you ever had your ribs broken detective?” Bucky asked.

“No. I haven’t. But you have.” Loomis said with a smirk. Bucky smiled and nodded.

“Yeah. I have. And since you haven’t, let me show you what it feels like.” Bucky whispered and then shoved the knife in between his ribs. He screamed loudly, his body going tense with the pain and then he went limp against the chair, his breathing heavy.

“You’re gonna kill him!” Bad Cop yelled from behind him. Bucky turned and looked at him.

“That’s kinda the fucking point smart guy. And I _will_ kill him. But that won’t, I didn’t hit anything important, he’s just unconscious. Cuz he’s a pussy I guess, I don’t know. Can’t even handle a little pain. What a shame.” Bucky said, shaking his head as he walked a few feet away and rested his butt against the table they’d found in the warehouse and set up.

“You think you’re gonna get away with this you freaks?” he asked, looking from Bucky to Sam, his eyes bulging.

“We have no intention of getting away with it man. You think we’d be killing a couple of cops if we wanted to get away with it?” Sam asked, sounding offended that this guy really thought that’s what they were doing here. Bucky shook his head and watched as Sam brought out his other knife and stabbed it into the detectives’ chest, right under his shoulder, without warning. Screams filled the air as Sam walked away and came to rest next to Bucky.

“It hasn’t sunk in yet I don’t think.” Sam muttered to Bucky as he leaned back next to him, crossing his arms. Bucky shook his head.

“It really hasn’t. Maybe I should show Bad Cop over here that we mean business.” Bucky said, looking from the detective to Sam with a smirk. Sam looked over at him slowly and smiled.

“Maybe you should. If you’re ready that is. We haven’t been here that long ya know.” Sam said, Bucky shrugged.

“Yeah. To be honest, I’m just getting bored. They aren’t scared enough, and they keep being rude. Which is just…rude.” He said, Sam snorted.

“We should just kill them then. Quick and easy.” Sam said with a nod, bumping his shoulder into Bucky’s.

“Maybe not so easy.” Bucky said, glancing at Sam. Sam smiled.

“But quick would be good. Cuz I’ll be honest with ya Sam. I just wanna take you home.” Bucky said, turning to look at Sam, leaning his hand on the table as he faced him. Sam turned to look at him too and raised his eyebrows.

“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Sam asked, his eyes sparkling. Bucky felt the pull in his groin and pressed closer until his lips were touching Sam’s ear.

“Cuz I want to fuck you into my mattress and I’m getting impatient.” Bucky growled, pulling Sam’s ear between his teeth and pulling away as he walked back toward the detectives they had tied up. He stepped around Buzz Cut and stood behind his chair, he stared over the unconscious man’s head and then slapped him hard.

“Hey, wake up sleepyhead, no sleeping on the job, it’s bad form.” He said, still staring at the detective across from him. The man in front of him groaned loudly and looked up at his partner.

“You paying attention detective Meyers?” Bucky asked, looking at the man seriously. The man nodded.

“Good.” Bucky said, he reached down and yanked the knife out of detective Loomis’ chest, then grabbed his forehead and tilted his head back as far as he could pull it without snapping his neck, the detective was screaming as he looked up at the ceiling, Bucky pressed the knife into his throat and pulled it across his skin. Blood sprayed in the air as the detectives screams turned into gurgles, Bucky’s face was painted red as he stared at the living detective across from him. He removed his hand from the dead man’s head and walked around his chair. He walked over and leaned down until he was face to face with detective Meyers.

“Do you think we give a shit about being caught now detective?” Bucky asked, licking his lips and tasting copper. He got no response and nodded as he stood up and turned to look at Sam. Sam had his eyes locked on Bucky, his teeth digging into his lip hard. Bucky raised his hand and curled his finger at Sam, beckoning him to come forward. Sam walked toward him like he was in a daze. Bucky raised his bloody hand to Sam’s face and ran his thumb over Sam’s lip, he released it from his teeth immediately.

“Hey, don’t bite it too hard. That’s my job.” Bucky said, winking again before Sam leaned in and kissed him, moaning when the taste of blood hit his tongue. Sam pulled back and looked at him.

“My turn?” he asked, his eyes shining. Bucky nodded and handed him the knife. Sam looked down at it for a moment and then walked around behind the detective. Bucky took a few steps back and stood in front of him.

“You’re gonna fry for this, you know that right? They’re gonna string you up!” The man yelled as Sam pulled his head back.

“They’re gonna want to.” Sam said, looking down at him.

“But the thing is. There’s no death penalty in this state. So we’ll end up in prison sure, but I think we can handle ourselves, how bout you?” Sam whispered, he didn’t wait for a response. He slit the man’s throat in one quick slice, the spray covering him in blood like it had done to Bucky. Bucky watched as Sam closed his eyes and let the blood cover his face, his whole body telling him to run forward and grab Sam. Just push him to the floor right then and there and take him.

Bucky waited for Sam to move. He forced himself to stay still until Sam came over to him. Sam pushed his hand into Bucky’s, both of them were breathing heavy.

“Let’s go home.” Sam breathed. Bucky nodded.

They cleaned themselves up enough to not be noticed on the street and then headed back to Bucky’s. They ran up the stairs and made it inside without seeing anyone. Sam shoved Bucky back against the door as soon as it was shut.

“Now. What was it you were saying earlier. Something about…fucking me into the bed?” Sam asked, smirking at Bucky as he pressed against him. Bucky swallowed hard and nodded.

“That was the plan. Why? You got a better one?” Bucky asked, moving his hands to Sam’s hips and digging his fingers into him. Sam rolled his hips and pressed closer.

“No, just a small addition really.” Sam whispered, kissing down Bucky’s neck as he moved his hands to Bucky’s belt, his fingers unbuckling it nimbly.

“Do tell.” Bucky said, smiling as Sam scraped his teeth against Bucky’s skin.

“I want you,” he paused and yanked Bucky’s belt out of his pants, pulling him forward and dragging a small surprised sound out of him as the belt snapped at Sam’s side.

“To tie this around my hands.” Sam finished, holding the belt up beside Bucky’s head as he pressed him back into the wall again. Bucky felt all the blood in his body rush south and his vision swam for a second. He took a deep breath and licked his lips.

“You uh, you want ‘em behind your back or above your head?” Bucky asked, moving his hands up under Sam’s shirt. Sam’s eyes fell shut.

“Fuck. Above my head I think.” He said, and then opened his eyes again.

“How do you always ask the right questions?” He almost moaned as Bucky pressed his thumbs into Sam’s nipples hard, his hips jerks forward as well, making Bucky smirk.

“I just like to make sure you’re happy and getting what you want. That’s all it is.” Bucky breathed, pressing forward and licking at Sam’s neck. Sam moaned and pressed the belt into Bucky’s hand as he drug himself away from Bucky.

“You comin or not?” Sam asked as he walked backwards toward the bedroom, looking at Bucky as he stayed leaning against the wall.

“Pretty sure I will be soon.” Bucky said, smirking at Sam as he began to walk forward. Sam bit his lip and disappeared through the door.

Bucky walked toward the door slowly, pulling off pieces of clothing as he went. He shut the door behind him and turned around to find a naked Sam sitting on the edge of the bed. Bucky bit his lip and walked forward, pushing his pants down as he went and walking out of them. He pressed in between Sam’s legs and shivered as Sam pulled him close, kissing at his chest and stomach, they both had blood on their skin, it had dripped down their faces and covered their chests.

“Hands.” Bucky said, his voice low. Sam looked up at him and leaned back, holding out his hands. Bucky wrapped his belt around them and tightened it snuggly. Sam moaned when he pulled it tight, Bucky smiled down at him.

“Lay back, get comfy. I’ll be right back.” He said, moving his hands over Sam’s thighs and then walking over to his night stand, he pulled the drawer open and grabbed the lube and a condom and then crawled onto the bed. He hovered over Sam for a moment, looking down at him, he had his hands resting on his stomach still. Bucky grabbed the belt and pushed Sam’s hands above his head slowly.

“Spread your legs for me Sam.” Bucky said quietly, his breathe ghosting over Sam’s skin and making him shiver as he spread his legs for Bucky obediently.

“Good boy.” Bucky breathed into Sam’s neck and he pressed gentle kisses to the skin there. He popped the lube open and covered his fingers, then he pressed them against Sam. Sam writhed underneath him, Bucky smirked into Sam’s skin.

He pressed one finger into Sam slowly, then drew it back out again. He bit down as he pressed in again, going deeper, making Sam squirm.

“Fuck. More. Please.” Sam whined. Bucky kissed up his neck and across his cheek until he was looking down at Sam as he moved his finger inside him.

“Anything you want Sam.” He whispered and pushed a second finger into him. Sam’s hips jumped and then pressed down, pushing Bucky’s fingers deeper into him. Bucky moved his fingers faster, rubbing over that perfect spot inside Sam and making his hands clench above his head.

“That feel good? You like that Sam?” Bucky asked, his breath hot against Sam’s ear. Sam nodded, his lip between his teeth, not able to talk right then. Bucky smirked and moved to kiss him, Sam open up for him immediately. Bucky moved his tongue into Sam’s mouth, kissing him wetly. Sam moaned loudly as Bucky moved his tongue in the same rhythm he was moving his fingers inside same, fucking into his mouth like he was fucking into his ass. Sam gasped when Bucky added a third finger. Sam pressed his head back into his pillow as his back arched.

“Fuck. Fuck me please Buck. I need it.” He begged, looking up at Bucky with need in his eyes. Bucky pulled his fingers out and grabbed for the condom, he ripped it open with his teeth and smiled when Sam groaned as he watched. He rolled it on and lined himself up, one hand pressing Sam’s hands into the mattress hard, the other around the base of his cock.

“How do you want it?” he asked Sam as he looked down at him. Sam licked his lips and his eyes went wide.

“Hard. Please.” He said, his voice small. Bucky bent down slowly and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Sam’s mouth.

“Like I said, anything you want.” Bucky whispered and then shoved himself into Sam. Sam screamed and strained against the belt, Bucky pulled back slowly and then shoved in again. Sam yelling his named as their skin smacked together. Bucky moved his hand up Sam’s side and along his arm. He moved his other hand from the belt and tangled his finger with Sam’s, pressing him down into the bed as he fucked into him roughly. Sam wrapped his legs around Bucky’s waist and pulled him closer, forced him deeper.

“Buck. Shit. Harder.” Sam stammered between thrusts, his heels digging into Bucky’s ass. Bucky thrust down hard, moving one arm behind Sam and pulling him closer with each thrust.

“Fuck, Sam. So good.” Bucky moaned into his skin, biting into Sam’s shoulder and he moved his hips down harder. It didn’t last much longer. A few more hard thrusts and Sam was screaming as Bucky shuddered on top of him. Bucky fucked into him slowly a few more times, dragging whines out of Sam as he writhed underneath him, then he dropped on top of Sam and just breathed. Sam breathing deeply beneath him.

“Buck?” Sam questioned a few moments later, his voice sounded a little tight. Bucky moved quickly and looked down at him.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked. Sam smiled and shook his head.

“My hands are going numb.” He said. Bucky looked up and remembered the belt.

“Oh shit.” He said and pulled out of Sam slowly before reaching up and unbinding his hands. He moved Sam’s arms slowly to his sides and then threw the belt on the floor.

“I’ll be right back.” He whispered, kissing Sam quickly and then running to the bathroom. He threw his condom away and grabbed a rag, he cleaned himself and then climbed back onto the bed and cleaned Sam up as well. Then he rolled him over and pushed up close behind him, wrapping his arm around Sam’s chest and pulling him close. Sam chuckled and moved his fingertips over Bucky’s arm slowly.

“In a cuddling mood are we?” Sam whispered, bringing Bucky’s hand up to kiss his knuckles and then dropping it back down.

“Maybe. Fuck.” Bucky said, dropping his head onto Sam’s shoulder.

“What?” Sam asked.

“We need to shower.” He said, kissing Sam’s shoulder and then pulling him out of bed with a groan. He shoved Sam along until they were both in the bathroom and then got the water running.

They showered slowly, washing each other and staying close. Bucky hummed happily as Sam washed his hair, moving his fingers gently against his scalp. Bucky washed Sam’s back and then let him rinse his hair out after giving him a Mohawk. They half assed getting dry and pulled the dirty sheets off the bed. Bucky grabbed a new sheet at Sam’s insistence and they pulled it on and then climbed back into bed. Bucky pushed up behind Sam again and hummed into his back.

“Better?” Sam asked, sounding amused.

“Mhm.” Bucky hummed, and moved his hand down Sam’s side, his fingers trailing over his ribs before coming to rest on his hip. Bucky pulled him back and pressed his hardening cock against Sam’s ass gently. He felt Sam take a deep breath and press back against him.

“Gimme one of the- yeah, thanks.” Bucky requested and then nodded as Sam moved to grab another condom and handed it back to Bucky. He rolled it on and then moved his hand to Sam’s hip again. He kissed Sam’s shoulder gently as he poured lube into his hand and wrapped his hand around himself. He moved his hand to Sam’s abs and then slipped into him slowly. Sam moaned as Bucky filled him and pressed back onto his cock.

Bucky moved his hips slowly, rocking into Sam gently, he moved his hand down to Sam’s cock and stroked him slowly in time with his thrusts. Sam wrapped his hand around Bucky’s and rocked his hips back into him.

“Sam.” Bucky breathed, saying his name like prayer, as he breathed against his skin.

“Bucky.” Sam moaned as Bucky pressed into him deeper. Bucky let Sam press his fingers between Bucky’s as they stroked Sam’s cock slowly, Bucky thrust into Sam again, slowly, and then Sam was clenching around Bucky as they came. They stayed there for a long time, pressed together, just breathing.

“I love you.” Bucky said eventually, breaking the silence. Sam moved, he pulled off of Bucky slowly and turned around to look at him, his hand moving to Bucky’s face and brushing at his cheek.

“I love you too.” He whispered, pressing forward and kissing Bucky sweetly. Sam got up to get cleaned up this time. He brought the rag back and cleaned Bucky up as well and then lay back down. Bucky rolled close and laid his head on Sam’s shoulder, his arm draped across his chest, Sam resting his hand on Bucky’s arm.

“I’ll love you forever ya know.” Bucky said, staring at the goose bumps rising on Sam’s skin.

“I know. I’ll love you forever too Buck.” Sam said, moving to look down at him. Bucky looked up at him, his chest feeling tight.

“Promise?” he asked, smirking a little. Sam smirked back at him, his eyes telling Bucky that he knew exactly what he was feeling and the he was going to be there, always.

“Promise.” Sam said, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s head and then relaxing again.

It took them hours to get to sleep that night. They just laid in bed, not sleeping, taking comfort in the fact that they were both there, still, for however long they had left, knowing that they probably didn’t have long.

The police came for them four days later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys holy shit, this is the last chapter, and then the epilogue. and guess what, i already have that written so i'm gonna post that too! like whaaat??? i know, it's crazy. here we gooooo!


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Sam are in prison. They're managing pretty well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just....okay so the thing is, i know that these two would not end up in the same prison, not really. but that wouldn't make for a good ending. and yeah, they definitely wouldn't be aloud around other inmates most likely, but again, not a good ending. i know this. and i need you to know, that i know, that this is just not realistic. but it's what had to be done because i've had this ending planned since day one. just...yeah.

Prison isn’t as bad as Bucky thought it would be. Solitary confinement isn’t so bad either. He thinks Sam is doing okay too. It was also easier than he thought to bride the cleaning crew to bring letters back and forth. Sam said he was doing okay. The letters helped keep him sane. Bucky understood that. He felt it too. There was an upside. Every second week of the month he and Sam got to eat lunch in the cafeteria, like normal inmates. Well, sometimes they did, if they behaved. And they did. Usually.

Bucky walked into the cafeteria and his eyes found Sam immediately, he was sitting with his tray at their usual table. Bucky got through the line quickly and plopped down in front of him. Sam tensed and then smiled when he saw it was Bucky and not a threat.

“Hey beautiful.” Bucky said, tilting his head to the side and looking at Sam. Sam smiled and looked into his lap. He’d gotten shy again while they were in here. Bucky guessed it was because he wasn’t around Bucky enough to be used to him anymore. That broke Bucky’s heart a little. Well, a lot. But they’d chosen this, and now they had to deal with it.

“Hey yourself.” Sam said quietly, looking up at Bucky through his lashes.

“You doin okay?” Bucky asked, leaning forward a bit before shoveling food into his mouth. Sam watched him and nodded.

“Sam.” Bucky said.

“Hmm?” Sam hummed, widening his eyes at Bucky. Bucky nodded to his tray.

“Eat.” He said gently. Sam smiled again and started eating. Bucky nodded and kept eating himself.

“I’m doing okay. Just lonely I think. But I feel better today.” Sam said after a few moments of them eating in silence.

“Yeah. Me too. I miss you a lot ya know? I know I write that to you all the time. But I still need to tell you. So you can hear it.” Bucky said, leaning forward and brushing his knuckles against Sam’s briefly. Sam closed his eyes at the touch.

“Yeah. I know. I miss you too. So much.” Sam said, looking up at Bucky with sad eyes. Bucky looked back at him, an ache in his chest, not sure what to say. He looked down at the table and picked at a chip in the tabletop with his fingernail. Sam’s hand covered his suddenly and he looked up to see him smiling.

“I don’t regret it Buck. I don’t. Not for a second.” Sam said. Bucky took a deep breath and smiled at him.

“Me neither. We had some good times.” Bucky said, his voice full of reminiscence. Sam chuckled and nodded and then his smile fell as a large hand fell hard onto Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky looked up slowly.

“Hey man, what’s up?” he asked, sounding calmer than he felt. The big guy nodded at him, his big, round head moving slowly on his thick, broad shoulders.

“So, he’s your little bitch then huh?” the guy said, inclining his head toward Sam. Bucky smiled a humorless smile into his lap and then looked back up at the guy.

“Two things. One, if anyone is anyone’s bitch, I’m his. Just to get that straight.” Bucky said, smiling up at the guy. The guy stared down at him and smiled back, then reached out and grabbed Bucky by the front of his orange jumpsuit, pulling him up out of his seat easily. He held him up so that he was eye level.

“And what’s the second thing?” the guy spat in Bucky’s face.

“The second thing is this.” Bucky said, moving his hand from his side quickly and jamming his fork into the guy’s eye. The guy dropped him, his fist hitting Bucky in the mouth as he fell to his knees, Bucky and Sam were on him in seconds. Sam going for his other eye with his own fork as Bucky used his palm to shove his fork deeper into the guy’s eye socket.

The guards pulled them off a few minutes later, Sam and Bucky’s hands were both covered in blood as they were pulled off and away from each other. The guards dragged them both backwards, to their separate ends of the prison, Sam and Bucky smiling at each other as they were shoved towards the doors.

“See you soon Sam!” Bucky called across the cafeteria, shouting to be heard over the cheers of the other inmates.

“You promise?!” Sam shouted back, struggling against the hands holding him.

“I promise!” Bucky yelled, a bloody smile stretching across his face as he was pulled out of the cafeteria to a chorus of cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes the other inmates are cheering them on. yes sam and bucky are totally kings of the prison. also, oh my god kids, we did it. we made it to the end! like oh my gosh wow. thank you so much for sticking with me through this long ass fic! and my long periods of no updating. i love you guys a lot! thanks for reading! <3 
> 
> P.s. - i will be writing small snippets and things for this over on my blog as well, just random little things that i couldnt fit into the story. my blog is Jeffersonshattricks over on tumblr and then the tag for them is just gonna be the Fic name! In case you want more of these two being murdery together, or having bedroom talks! <3

**Author's Note:**

> listen guys, i haven't written anything dark in awhile. But i gotta say that i missed it. this is just chapter one. i dont know when i'll be posting more. if y'all like it then i'll try and post more quickly. so yeah, here's par one of these messed up boys! Enjoy! 
> 
> P.S. the reason this all happened was because i found the song Bad Things by machine gun kelly and camila cabello. so like, you should listen to it and think of Sam and Bucky and like...feel my pain...i guess. :D (this is also where the title came from wweeeeee)


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